Key Points In Communication

　 grasp communication Cold and hot in China

A cup warm water Keep the temperature constant, and have another glass of cold water and a glass of hot water. If you put your hands in cold water before you put them in warm water, you will feel warm. If you put your hands in hot water before you put them in warm water, you will get warm water. The same cup of warm water, there are two different feelings, this is the cold and hot water effect. The appearance of this phenomenon is because everyone has a steelyard in mind, but the weight is not consistent or fixed. With psychological changes, the weights are changing. When the weight becomes small, the weight of the object it weighs is large. When the weight becomes bigger, the weight of the object it weighs is small. People's perception of things is influenced by this weight. In interpersonal communication, we should be good at using this cold and hot water effect. 。

Use cold and hot water Effect To win the praise from others.

When people are in the world, it is hard to avoid a career slide. It is unavoidable to accidentally hurt others. It is unavoidable to criticize and criticize others. At these times, if they are mishandled, they will lower their image in others' mind. If we use the cold and hot water skillfully, we will not only reduce our image but gain a good evaluation from others. When the business falls, you may as well tell others the worst things in advance, and even if you fail, you can be invincible. When you hurt others, you may as well go beyond your due limit. This will not only show your sincerity, but also receive the effect of making friends. If you want to say something unpleasant, you may declare in advance, so that you will not cause others' feelings of disgust, so that others will appreciate your good intentions. These actions that use the cold and hot water effect are, in essence, through the one or two foreshadowing to make the weight of the other's heart smaller, so that the weight of the object it weighs is large.

Lao Li, a car sales company, can sell more than 30 cars a month, which is appreciated by the company manager. For various reasons, Lao Li expects to sell only 10 cars this month. Lao Li, who knows deeply about human nature, said to the manager, "because of the tight money and the depressed market, I expect to sell at most 5 cars this month." The manager nodded his head and agreed with him. Unexpectedly, a month later, Lao Li sold 12 cars, and the manager praised him very much. If Lao Li said that he could sell 15 cars this month, or if he didn't say so in advance, only 12 cars were sold out. What would the manager think? He would feel strongly that Lao Li failed, not only he would not praise, but he could blame. In this case, Lao Li reported the worst case to the manager at most, selling 5 cars, so that the weight of the manager's mind became smaller. So after the month's performance came out, the evaluation of Lao Li would not be reduced but improved.

Ms. Cai rarely gave speeches, and when she was forced to make a speech, she addressed a group of scholars and commentators. Her opening remarks are: "I am an ordinary housewife, and naturally do not speak excellent words. Therefore, I urge all experts to not joke about my speech." After she said this, the weight of the audience became smaller, and many people who began to doubt her were listening attentively. After her simple and unsophisticated speech, the scholars and commentators on the stage felt great. They thought her speech had reached a very high level. They gave enthusiastic applause to Ms. Cai's successful speech.

When a person can not directly give others a basin of hot water, he might as well give others a basin of "cold water" before giving another person a basin of warm water. In this case, this person's warm water will also get a good appraisal from others.

Use cold and hot water effect to motivate the other side.

Mr. Lu Xun said: "if someone proposes to open a window on the wall of the house, it will be met with opposition from everyone, and the window will not be opened. But if the proposal is to remove the roof, everyone will give a corresponding concession and agree to open a window. Mr. Lu Xun's incisive exposition is about the use of cold and hot water to promote agreement. When it is proposed to "remove the roof", the weight of the other's heart will be smaller, and the persuasion goal of "opening a window on the wall" will be accepted smoothly. The cold and hot water effect can be used to persuade others. If you want the other party to accept "a basin of warm water", in order not to make him refuse, let him try the cold water taste first, then put the warm water on the side, so he will readily accept it.

The manager of a cosmetics sales company wants to let Xiao Wang, a home town salesman, work in the Suburb Branch because of his work needs. In looking for Xiao Wang's talk, Yan manager said, "the company has decided that you are going to take up a new important job. There are two places. You choose one. One is a branch in the outer suburbs and one in the outskirts. " Although Xiao Wang did not want to leave the already familiar urban area, he had to choose a slightly better suburb in the outer suburbs and suburbs. Xiao Wang's choice coincides with the arrangement of the company. Moreover, Yan manager did not pay much more lip service. Xiao Wang also thought that he chose an ideal job, both sides were satisfied and the problem was solved. In this case, the emergence of "outer suburb" reduced the weight of Xiao Wang's heart, so that Xiao Wang successfully accepted the work in the suburbs. Yan manager's practice, though giving people a sense of playing tricks, should be taken into consideration in the overall situation and responsible to Xiao Wang himself.

Lao Chen and Lao Shi are the top negotiators of a large chemical plant. There is hardly any business for gold partners. They are deeply respected and trusted by their employees. It turned out that the two of them were very good at using cold and hot water effect to convince each other. In general, Lao Chen always raises harsh demands, which makes the other person panic stricken, frustrated and frustrated. When the other party feels "there is no way out", the old man comes out, and he proposes a compromise plan, which is, of course, the goal of their negotiation. Faced with this "beautiful village", the other side happily signed the contract. In the face of this situation, there are some conditions that are not conducive to the other side. The other side will also consider the compromise to be very acceptable and acceptable. This is indeed a wonderful negotiation skill, and the harsh conditions of presupposition greatly reduce the weight of the other's heart, so that the other side will not hesitate to agree to the compromise plan. This negotiation skill can play a great role in business negotiations.

When people judge things, they want to compare each other. Sometimes, in order to get someone to accept something (Wen Shui), it is better to use another more difficult matter (cold water) as a contrast. Instead of taking advantage of the advantages and avoiding disadvantages and taking the easy instincts in the dilemma, he will happily accept what he wants to accept (Wen Shui).

Use cold and hot water to stimulate each other's happiness

A philosopher saw a poor friend who had been worried all day, and looked at him with a bitter face. He came up with a way to make him happy. He said to his friend, "are you willing to leave your wife? Are you willing to discard your child? Are you willing to tear down your broken house?" The philosopher said, "yes! You should be glad that you have a tacit companion. I am glad to have a lovely descendant. I am glad to have a warm old house. You should be happy about it!" so the friend's sadness was out of the brow and melancholy left his forehead. In this fable story, the philosopher used the cold and hot water effect to narrow the weight of a friend's heart, thus making him feel happy about his own poor life. A person who is unhappy or unhappy is usually determined not by objective advantages or disadvantages, but by his own state of mind and emotions. Using cold and hot water effect can make a person discover new happiness from difficulties, setbacks and misfortunes.

On one occasion, when a civil aircraft was about to land, passengers on board were suddenly informed that the airport was too crowded to land, and the estimated time of arrival would be delayed by 1 hours. Suddenly, the cabin was filled with complaints, and the passengers were waiting for this hard time to pass. A few minutes later, the flight attendant announced that the plane would land safely in 30 minutes and the passengers relieved with relief. Another 5 minutes later, the radio said, the plane is going to land now. Although more than ten minutes later, passengers were overjoyed, clapping their hands in celebration. In this case, the crew used the cold and hot water inadvertently, which first reduced the weight of the passenger's heart. When the plane landed, the fact that the passengers were not tired of it was very excited.

After careful consideration, Xia factory director decided to give the hired technician 12 thousand yuan annual salary. Although the salary is not high, the Xia factory director believes that the small palace will accept it. The only worry is that the problem will not be handled well, which will affect his enthusiasm and creativity. The old and prudent summer factory director came up with a magic trick. He said to the little palace, "based on the reality of our factory, we can only pay you 8000 yuan annual salary." After a slight pause, the Xia factory director went on to say, "but 12 thousand yuan can also be considered. What do you think?" the little palace listens to "8000 yuan". It is a bit reluctant. "Weight" shrinks, and when I hear "12 thousand yuan", I feel a little happy. He said quickly, "I listen to your director." Xia Yuan Chang said, "12 thousand yuan is already very high relative to other workers in the factory. To tell you the truth, I am hesitant about being the director of the factory. However, as long as we work together and fight hard, we will sell the 12 thousand yuan to your hands. The little palace was moved by heart. In this case, the director of the factory used the cold and hot water effect to make the other party not only disheartened, but happy.

If you first let the other person taste the taste of "cold water", the weight of his heart will be reduced, so he will be pleased with the "warm water". In interpersonal relationships, if we can let the other party be happy at the critical moment or even ordinary days, what else can we fail to accomplish? What are the tough battles that we can't win?

To sum up, the cold and hot water effect plays a three major role in interpersonal communication by making the weight of others in mind smaller. But if the weight of the other person becomes larger, there will be three negative effects.

People should avoid these negative effects when interacting with others. In conclusion, a person can only correctly evaluate himself and the external things only if he keeps the weight of his heart in a reasonable and consistent way.