How Can We Support People To Respond To Their Accusations And Express Their Dissatisfaction?

As subordinates, they can understand the pressure of leadership and allow leaders to moderate their emotions. It is also a compulsory course in the workplace.

Think about whether you have been scolded by your elders or not since your childhood. Leaders are also people. When he discovers that his expectations and hopes fail, there will inevitably be negative energy coming into his mind.

When he has finished, he will feel much better. Many leaders will regret it, and feel that the fire is not generous enough in the face of his subordinates.

But no way, he still can not control his mood, anger is the result of his subconscious procedure.

So you see, the leadership is actually not much of a relationship with you, because he can't help himself. Why do you punish yourself with other people's mistakes?

If the workplace is a comprehensive social arena, then the unit you work for is like a big family.

Leaders are parents, colleagues are brothers and sisters, subordinates are children juniors.

Confucianism has a view that everyone's social status and power are determined by nature.

A network of social relationships has been woven between people. Each person has been fixed at this point in his life. What he or she says or does is restricted by the Internet. The achievement of his life is also affected by this point.

Whether you believe it or not, there is one sentence that you will agree with.

In real society, there is a double meaning in what identity is spoken.

It shows not only the external identity of a person, but also the inner accomplishment of a person.

To dispel the fear of speaking with leaders, many workplace leaders have "phobia" when speaking to leaders. When they meet with leaders or bosses to say important things or ask for some requests, they are nervous, sweating, breathing fast, and having a sore throat.

In fact, this is really not necessary. If you master your mental attitude and make preparations ahead of time, when you talk with him, you will not worry that what you say will bring bad luck to you.

Yes, the reason why you are afraid to talk with leaders is that in our growing experience from small to large, parents are often criticized for being scolded by their parents, but in the depths of their hearts, they have planted the seeds of "fear of authority".

Not just you, many people have such a mentality.

This mindset will not only make you face up to the "authority" and be unable to communicate effectively, but may also make you in a state of being all the same for a lifetime. Don't say that a promotion or promotion has nothing to do with you. Even the general colleague relationship may not be properly handled.

So how do we change this unhealthy state of mind? Of course, it starts with learning to speak! Because, in the process of learning how to speak, your mind will change a lot. Let's take an example: Xiao Yuan has worked in the company for 5 years, and has been working very hard, but he usually has little communication with leaders and colleagues.

Recently, her boss (departmental manager) left the office. She hoped that she could be promoted to be a department manager. She did not expect her boss to pfer a colleague from another department to a department manager. She lost her balance and decided to talk to her boss.

She came to the boss's office, and the boss asked her what was wrong.

For a moment, she had lost all her appetite, her mind was blank, and her heart was like an upset bottle.

She had to lower her head and murmur, "nothing is fine."

Then, quickly withdrew from the door.

This incident was a great blow to Xiao Yuan. She did not expect that she would be so grieved and uncomfortable in front of her boss.

She decided to consult a mental counselor.

The counselor asked her when she had felt this way before.

She recalled that she was so nervous and frightened when she was talking with her father when she was little, because her father was very hot tempered and often scolded her and her brother.

The counselor told her: the boss is not a real father. There is absolutely no need to be afraid. You just need to treat him as a father, respecting him in manners and tone. It is worth pondering over how to express what you want to say tactfully.

Xiao Yuan did not understand the advice of the psychological counselor. He thought, "if you have to say it directly, then you need to ponder and be so euphemistic." the counselor asked her, "imagine, if you want to tell the boss what you want, what's the boss's reaction?"

"Of course, I'm not happy!" said Xiaoyuan. "I didn't want to make him happy. Who let him not let me be happy?" he said. "I've worked so hard for so many years that he can't see it. The woman who pferred from another department is far away from me. I can't see where she is stronger than me!"

"What's the result?" the psychological counselor then asked, "do you want to give vent to a boss's displeasure? Is this the result you want? What's good for you?"

Psychological counselor asked: "you think objectively, what is the difference between the newly promoted department manager and you?" Xiaoyuan thought for a while and said, "it's better than I can speak, and I have better relationship with you."

The counselor said, "if you are, do you like to work with a manager who speaks, or do you like to work with a manager who doesn't talk to you or talk with you?" "of course, I would like to work with a manager who can speak," Xiaoyuan blurted out and finished laughing.

Because she suddenly realized why the boss didn't promote her, but she decided to come up with another manager from another department.

In fact, the former boss also reminded her that she would be able to communicate with you, communicate more, do not dry all day, play a team spirit, bring more new people, but she thinks those are not important, as long as they do their work well.

How can you express discontent yuan to the superiors to accept the advice of a counselor, once again into the boss's office.

The boss, like last time, asked her gently what was going on.

Though she was still nervous, she was no longer afraid. She tried to make her voice seem calm and calm.

"I came here today, boss," she said. "I want to talk to you about my new promotion manager in our department.

To tell you the truth, I was a little confused at first. Why did I have to bring a manager from another department?

I think I have worked very hard, and you have always said that I have done a good job in this business.

Later, I want to understand that there is still some deficiency in my communication and collaboration with all of you.

What I want to tell you is that I hope you will give me more advice later, and I hope you can send me out to study and study, so that I can have more opportunities to learn and improve.

I believe I will not fail to live up to your expectations, work harder, grow faster and help you share more responsibilities.

The change of Xiao Yuan has not only impressed the boss.

They are also more and more willing to work and communicate with her.

From the practical experience of yuan yuan, we can see that expressing inner dissatisfaction with leaders is not necessarily a catharsis.

The result of the catharsis is both sides: the boss is accused of being upset, but Xiao Yuan must not have a good fruit to eat. The boss even feels that he is not promoted.

In another way, expressing the words tactfully can not only solve problems, let things develop in a good direction, but also make everyone comfortable.

There is a step that can be taken in this way:

A brief account of what happened with leaders shows that they are beginning to be somewhat unaware or unacceptable.

But after consideration, I understand some reasons why the leader did so.

Euphemistically put forward your hope, and hope your leader can do it.

Then, you believe you will be...

You see, it is only through the expression of language that we can turn "bad things" dissatisfied with leaders into "good deeds".

If you happen to have a similar thing, you might as well change your mind and have a try.

It should be noted that when we express our dissatisfaction to our superiors, we must first control our emotions, and at the same time we must pay more attention to the emotions of our superiors. Otherwise, they will probably become two people's emotional conflicts and even become two people's emotional wars. As a result, the original things have not been resolved and new problems have emerged.

Remember, when two people communicate, if someone has strong negative emotions, it is impossible to handle the problem well, because bad emotions can drown out human reason.

EQ and IQ tend to be zero at the same time. What is the solution to the problem?

Very important! So how do you manage and control your emotions?

Psychologists believe that emotions come from the unconscious.

That is to say, the occurrence of the present emotion is not designed by human mind, it is caused by the iceberg on the surface of the water, and is inherent in the inherent control of human beings.

This is why emotions are often "unable to help" when they come.

What you can do is to gradually understand your subconscious, to know more about the iceberg of yourself, to establish the belief that you are responsible for your emotions, and to learn and master some simple techniques of emotional adjustment (such as deep breathing, isolation, etc.).

How to deal with the accusation and criticism of his superiors, Wang Hao is a sales manager. In the first half of the year, his sales performance was poor. He was called to the office by the sales director, and he had a face to face training.

What Wang Hao wants to argue is that in the first half of the year, the market has changed so much that a powerful competitor has emerged in the air. Its products are novel and the price is low, so the company has been robbed of several large customers.

But the director didn't allow him to speak at all. He first accused him of not innovating in marketing, and then criticized him for not doing enough in maintaining big customers.

Wang Hao was very depressed. He was so angry that he didn't know who to send to.

At the very thought of this, Wang Hao was short tempered, and jumped up and cursing at all times. He was both humbled and uncomfortable.

Being criticized and criticized by the leaders will certainly be uncomfortable.

But if Wang Hao knows more about the psychological activities of some leaders who criticize and criticize their subordinates, they may not be so upset.

When leaders blame their subordinates, it is inevitable that there will be some anger and dissatisfaction.

Negative emotions are easily contagious, and you can easily get caught up.

When the waves hit, they felt uncomfortable, and tried to defend themselves.

Because there are always some objective reasons that can lead to mistakes in your work.

Just like Wang Hao in the case, poor performance in the first half was due to the emergence of a strong competitor, not because he was not active or hard, but that the company's product market share was taken away by new products which were cheap and good.

But, you know, when the leader blames you, his heart is really trying to convey a hope -- you can do your best to meet his requirements (such as completing the task index, etc.).

That is to say, the anger of the leader is just a representation, and there is ardent expectation behind it.

Similarly, when the leader criticizes you, his heart is hate iron not steel, feel that you should do something well, or feel that you are not serious, not careful, made the wrong mistake.

Behind the criticism is hope, and I hope you can do the right thing well.

Leaders who criticize and criticize subordinates are the same as parents who criticize and criticize their children.

The parents said to the children, "you know all day long that playing games is really not promising."

The inner expectation is: if you can spend more time learning, how good it will be in the future. Sometimes parents will criticize children for careless homework. The hope is that the child can get rid of this problem and become more serious and careful.