The Emotional Attraction That Human Beings Cannot Jump Out Of

Zheng Lei / Wen

I have been intertwined with the question of human behavior and cognition: why do humans have more sensibility than reason? In classical economic theory, people always assume that people are super rational and have strong cognitive ability, so they can always grasp the complete information and always make the best decision. Psychologists believe that this assumption is Arabian Nights. Today, the results of brain neuroscience provide a lot of facts for us to understand ourselves more accurately: the origin of love: from Darwin to modern neuroscience, written by three medical doctors and neurotherapists, explaining the decisive influence of human emotion on cognition and behavior in the first six chapters. The other four chapters guide how to help oneself and friends and relatives with love. It is worth reading for everyone.

The origin of love: from Darwin to modern brain science. Data map

The human brain is divided into three parts with evolution: reptile brain, mammalian brain and neocortex, which play different roles in human emotional activities. Reptile brain is a globular body at the top of the spine, which controls the basic survival functions such as breathing, swallowing, cardiopulmonary expansion, acid-base balance and so on. This part regulates the most important concerns and fears of human survival and reproduction. Reptiles also use this function to avoid potential dangers. In addition, the nucleus of the raphe determines the natural disposition of human beings and lays the tone of a person's emotion. The mammalian brain is also called the limbic system of the brain, which covers the reptile brain. It is the center of dreams and advanced emotional activities. We see, hear, smell and feel, as well as body temperature, blood pressure, heart rhythm and other body state parameters will be here to coordinate the body to achieve the best state of the external environment. Animals are crawling, breastfeeding, evolving to erect, increasing brain capacity, developing language functions, and eventually developing large and thick neocortex. The neurons that are responsible for speaking, writing, planning and reasoning functions here can focus on abstract thinking.

Surprisingly, people's cognition and behavior mainly come from emotion rather than rational thinking. People do not use "slow thinking" system 2 for most of the time, but mainly rely on intuition "quick thinking" system 1. The edge system is the main executor of system 1. We used to think that understanding and reason can overcome emotional barriers. In fact, people seldom control their emotional effects very quickly. This is caused by the evolutionary structure of the brain. The concealment of emotion and its completely uncontrolled power of reason make people's logical thinking ability dwarfed, and it is very difficult to play the role that people expect.

People are socially dependent, and activities such as raising, social interaction, social communication, communication and play are mainly directed by the marginal system. Loss of this part can lead to loss of social ability. Moreover, the limbic system also sends instructions to the neocortex, affecting the abstract thinking activities such as language and planning. Human facial expressions and body language are also issued under the command of the limbic system. The limbic system determines the intentions of the other according to the external signals received, and adjusts to a certain emotional state (making facial expressions, changing endocrine, cardiovascular velocity, etc.), transmitting information to the neocortex, producing conscious thinking, and making a plan of action in the premotor area of the neocortex. These activities happen almost instantaneously.

The 3-4 year after birth is the most important period of this phylogeny, which determines whether the person is happy or happy throughout his life. The attachment theory of John Bobby, a British psychoanalyst, reveals the development process of human empathy and sociality. Babies who leave their mothers' caresses and exchanges, even without lack of nutrition and careful care, are still unable to grow up healthily, or even die early. From the earliest Mother and child ties, we began to establish the physiological process of social relations. The physiological part of the human body is open-loop, that is, the individual can not decide all his functions. He needs an interactive coordination system, especially with close contacts. If this kind of communication continues to break down, people's physiological rhythm will be disorder, causing psychological pain and even despair. This happens frequently in adults, but with age, personal self-regulation ability will increase. This interaction of physiological functions makes mutual attachment and common life become the center of human activities.

Reciprocity is the basis of human existence, and the motive of human cooperation is both natural and acquired gradually. The nature of the brain likes to summarize the underlying rules of things, and some similar situations when babies are young are used as routines. Adults automatically simplify all kinds of complicated behaviors into several regular archetypes. Therefore, when a person is exposed to a certain emotional pattern for a long time, the pattern and structure of this pattern will be deeply engraved in his mind. The first thing that infants learned from their parents was reciprocal cooperation. The habitual responses and emotions formed were mutually beneficial and cooperative, without rational thinking and intervention. Children learn the experience of dealing with people in the community to promote their healthy growth. Human experience and experience determine the structural changes of the brain. When encountering new situations, the brain subconsciously will find out related memories spontaneously and provide guidance for people's daily behavior.

Once people have established some relationship with others, they will feel the influence of the other side's emotional attraction. We have the emotional activities to change the people we love. People's personality and future development depend partly on the people we love. This book tells us to shape and guide children with love, to save those lost souls, and let love illuminate the path of happiness.

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