Growing Frustration In The Workplace

In the workplace, we often encounter all kinds of setbacks. The boss often prizes, the customers are rude and the colleagues are inexplicably excluded. As Eileen Chang said, life is a gorgeous gown, but it is full of lice. But this kind of little pain, once extended, will make our mood go to a low level. Many people often suffer pain, resentment, inferiority and even lose hope and confidence. How can we get out of frustration? Let's explore together.

In the sky of the workplace, frustration is like a dark cloud, which is constantly in the mind. But we all have this experience. When the plane passes through the clouds, the sky is always blue, blue and clear. That's the reality of life. Dark clouds may stay for a while or even cover up the sun, but all dark clouds will not change the pure nature of the sky. To cross this dark cloud, what we need to do first is to see what causes the frustration.

In psychology, frustration is caused by setbacks. It refers to a psychological feeling that individuals encounter obstacles and interference in meeting activities of need, which makes individual motivation impossible and personal needs can not be satisfied. In short, the essence of frustration is actually the gap between people's psychological feelings and the reality. When Xiao Li graduated from University, he entered a company. He was down-to-earth, rigorous and conscientious. He soon got the favor of his boss, worked for two years, became a manager, and his direct supervisor became general manager. But the general manager is very serious and very picky. He works under his hands. He is especially depressed. Just like a headhunter is looking for him, his salary has doubled.

What I didn't expect was Xiao Li. Boss The company has gone from bad to worse, and the promised salary is not in place. At that time, the former colleague found Xiao Li. After he left, the boss often praised Xiao Li in front of other colleagues. After a series of twists and turns, he returned to his former company's original position. Of course, unfortunately, the boss is still the original temper, he can criticize and criticize him. One thing is obviously not his responsibility in Xiao Li's eyes. He should be criticized by the general manager. "You really don't think this thing very carefully. Fortunately, let me remind you." Xiao Li felt very depressed and frustrated. Did he leave or not? That's a real problem.

Obviously, Xiao Li's expectation is that the leader can praise him more and affirm him, while the leader's expectation is that Xiao Li's work is more perfect. As a result, both expectations were lost. Especially for Xiao Li, he felt more strongly about the gap between expectation and reality, and there was a sense of frustration. There are many such examples: the sudden announcement of layoffs, and you may be on the list. Every day you work hard, and your leaders do not complain about your work at all times. But the end of the year has only got a "middle". Although you have done a lot of work, you still can not meet the leadership's requirements. You've changed a lot of work, but you still feel unsatisfied and have never been able to find a job that is really suitable for you.

Faced with the same setbacks, why are some people immersed in complaining, while others can quickly get out of their predicament? Calm down and think about it, we all have our own goals or expectations, and we all hope for more success. As the saying goes, "the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment." In fact, the greater the psychological gap between success and failure, the more difficult it is for failure, and the more frustrated and frustrated it will be. Of course, there are some ways to help us adjust our mental state to cope with "frustration".

In fact, anything that seems to be frustrating can help us get more. information More growth. If we fail to achieve the desired results, this is actually giving us a signal that needs to be changed. "Frustration" refers to the past. What we need to pay attention to is how to change the practice and point to the future. Frustration gives us the opportunity to learn. People who lack self-confidence are always looking for excuses that do not need to be done. The two words can easily come out.

If the general direction is correct, then we need to consider whether the method of work or the goal of stage is suitable. The adjustment of methods and the establishment of goals need to be analyzed and thought. This is a process of turning negative psychology into rational thinking. This process allows us to focus our attention on events rather than our own emotions. At this point, frustration is not only a problem; instead, it will enable us to generate the belief and willpower to regulate and control our new actions, and become the driving force for further progress.

Xiao Du worked in a public relations company and often had to deal with clients. Because her personality is softer and exquisite, and she has done a good job, she has achieved good results. But recently, she met a very difficult customer. The other side is always entangled in some small problems. The document is sent to customers on QQ. It also shows that it has been received. In the afternoon, Xiao Du goes to do some activities. The client calls furious, and asks why he has not sent the document to him, and how to explain it can not calm down the anger of the other side. Even he will exaggerate this incident to the question of the whole team of Xiao Du: "do you have the ability?"

The client is the boss who has worked hard to win, and can not be offended. So how can we make the mood go from the bottom to the peak in the face of such a difficult customer? Since it is very difficult to change the other side, what can we do better from ourselves? We can try to make things more meticulous and more efficient (such as sending out two mailboxes, having a backup, remembering and confirming each other), making our hearts stronger (come on, I am not afraid of complaints from all over the mountains!), and learn to manage our emotions, to share with others, and to further improve communication skills.

What is behind the emotion? There is a famous ABC principle in psychology, which is put forward by American psychologist Ellis. A stands for Activating events; B represents the individual's perception and evaluation of the event, namely, Beluefs; C represents the individual's emotional reactions and behavioral consequences after this event (Consepuences).

In traditional concepts, people often think that emotional and behavioral responses are caused by induced events, that is, A directly causes C, but modern psychological ABC theory holds that A is only an indirect cause of C, and B is the direct cause of our emotional and behavioral responses.

In the case of Xiao Li, we can see that Xiao Li's leadership is very serious about him, or he will not praise him in front of other colleagues. Perhaps it is because of his importance that he has given Xiao Li more pressure. If Xiao Li does not regard the criticism of his leadership as a reproach or dissatisfaction, but rather understands that the leader is spurring his growth through criticism, will he be more relieved?

In the case of Xiao Du Customer Just like her nemesis, from time to time to pick a bone in her eggs, it is obviously her fault, but she can push the responsibility to Xiao Du. She pokes her finger at the bottom of her finger and almost takes Du Chuocheng's fishing net. Such a person makes Xiao Du full of frustration, but Xiao Du can call him a "Nemesis", or he can be seen as "an angel to help him grow", and the change of this concept takes only one second, and that idea will have its own heart.

If you are immersed in complaints to customers, the diaphragm will be deeper and deeper. Later, it is not the loss of the customer, or the loss of the company itself. Try to look at this matter from a client's perspective: what kind of cooperation does she need to understand her inner pressure and stand in a trench instead of standing on her opposite side, perhaps dealing with things with half the effort. This is what psychology often calls "Empathy".

Empathy is very effective. It can be called the first high efficiency lubricant of human relations, and it is also a sign to judge whether a person has high EQ. When there is no more conflict in your heart, your transformation will also be revealed in the tone and intonation that you have communicated with her, and she will also receive it.

A sense of frustration is a lack of confidence in oneself. When we grow up, the best and most effective channel to gain self-confidence is ourselves. Be sure of every step of your progress, affirming every advantage of yourself, giving full play to your strengths and accepting your own shortcomings. If we can truly accept ourselves, clearly see our strengths and weaknesses, and live in peace with them, fully accept our uniqueness and get along well with ourselves, the external world will also be naturally harmonious. There is a good saying: look at your eyes and see others are pleasing to the eye. At this point, maybe you do not need to rely on the outside to give you the affirmation.

We need insight. Leader Psychology, when the leader said, "you see, I am not thoughtful yet." the subtext of this sentence is already obvious, in fact, he also needs a recognition. If you look at his advice with an attitude of acceptance, you can say: "I have done a lot of detailed preparation for this project, but I really didn't expect you to mention that. Your mind is brilliant! I will remember to add this to other departments next time."

A few words may lead the leader to smile. Of course, your compliments must be true, and too much hypocrisy can not be accepted by others. Leaders must have their own advantages. We respect and accept them so that we can have good relations. In the face of difficult people, we can try to do some work outside communication, such as organizing meals, karaoke and other activities, more in-depth communication with each other. With emotional communication and nourishment, they may be able to fend off the mask of no false expression in their work, showing the other side of softness and gentleness.