Don't Be Too Nice To People In Communication.

Don't be so nice to people! For a person with ability to work and reason, independence and pay are internal needs. If interpersonal relationships do not meet each other's needs, this relationship will be more difficult to maintain. In Carnegie's thought of successful interpersonal communication, it is very important to follow the utilitarian principle in psychological communication. This principle is based on all kinds of human needs, including spiritual and material content, that is, interpersonal communication is an activity that satisfies people's needs. As early as 1974, psychologist Homans once proposed that interpersonal communication is essentially a kind of social exchange, which is the same as the principle of commodity exchange in the market, that is, people want to get more than what they pay in communication. In fact, we can not get less than what we pay. If we get more than what we pay, we will make people lose their balance.

Interpersonal communication should be reserved. People who enter social circles often make a mistake in doing good deeds in the end. They believe that they will work in a harmonious and intimate relationship with each other wholeheartedly. In fact, this is not the case. Because people can not simply accept others pay, otherwise the psychological will feel unbalanced. "Dripping water, Yongquan report" is also a way to balance the relationship. If a good thing is done at once, it makes people feel unable to return or have no chance to return, guilt will alienate the beneficiary. Leave room for good things should not be done at one time. This may be an important criterion for balancing interpersonal relationships.

Leave room for proper distance, because each soul needs a little space. If you want to help others, and want to maintain long-term relationship with others, then you can give others a chance to give others a reward, not because of the pressure of the heart and alienate the relationship between the two sides. And "excessive investment" does not give the other party a chance to breathe, which will suffocate the other's soul. Leave room for each other to breathe freely and freely.