Workplace: How To Tell Your Boss How You Feel.

Even your boss. Communicate He is very competent, but he is not an expert in dealing with you. You need to teach him how to best manage you - what drives you and what drives you lose motivation so that you can bring out the best performance. This includes getting what you want, rather than waiting to be understood and taken care of.

Try this way to get your boss to understand you effectively and courteously. Maybe you won't make things worse. Maybe you can build a mutually satisfactory relationship. After a difficult conversation, pay attention to your feelings: anger, sadness, resentment, frustration or fear. Ask yourself what you think your boss has taken away or what you expect.

Or your Boss It may imply that you will not get something you feel you deserve. Such things may be tangible, such as a promotion or a project in expectation, or what you expect is intangible things, such as recognition of your work, participation in making decisions, letting you control some tasks, consistency or predictability, sense of order, respect, autonomy, or freedom to do what you want to do.

Find out what you want your boss to do differently in the future. Then set a time and place where you can freely ask for your time to meet your boss.

In carrying out the dialogue, follow these steps:

　　 From your point of view, simply state what happened.

Simply describing what happened in the dialogue has a negative effect on you. Don't talk too much detail. Don't guess why your boss is doing this. Just describe how your boss has influenced you, tell you a decision that affects you, ignore what you say, change the theme, or explain a situation.

　　 State the impact of this matter on you.

This is very important for you to express clearly, and it is more important than to cling to past events. State how you feel and why you feel this way. That is to say, you feel that you have not been recognized or considered, that the control or consistency of the matter has been taken away. You feel that you have lost your foresight or lost your sense of order for the future, or you feel that you can not have the autonomy or freedom you need to do your job well.

Put forward demand. What do you want your boss to do in the future? Make your request clear and concise.

　　 Don't defend yourself when your boss responds.

Let your boss have an emotional response. Keep calm and patient. You have already explained your situation. You don't need anything else at this time. In my experience, even if your boss's reaction is very bad, you may still get what you want later.

Talking about your feelings may make you feel uncomfortable, but this kind of discussion can make you have a better relationship with your boss.

On the other hand, if you don't ask for your needs, your resentment or submission may deteriorate sharply, making you dislike your job and looking at everything your manager does with negative eyes.

You can summon up courage and be patient with yourself. demand Here is an example:

In my last job, I spent three weeks researching and writing a learning center project to be presented to CEO.

The day before the demonstration, I went to my boss's office to show him my work. He quickly read the plan and stopped on the last page. "You can't take this." He pointed to a budget project.

I immediately contradicted him and tried to prove that he was wrong. Then I had a flash of light in my mind. I said, "pause." Maybe you are right. I will review that part. But you just turned over the bill until you found a wrong place, which made me feel as if my work had not been finished or could not be demonstrated. I had hoped that you would notice that the whole document contained details.

He replied, "what did you say? Your work has always been very good. Do you want me to tell you? "I insist on my position:" I need to hear from you now and then. " He turned over his eyes, sighed and said, "all right." When I turned to go, he said, "but you never told me when I did a good job."

I was stuck. He is right. I only remember that I needed recognition, and I didn't see that he had the same needs as I did. I forgot to manage downwards while I had to manage upward. Therefore, we begin to treat each other with more respect and concern. It was awkward at first, but slowly improved.

There are some tricks:

Positive thinking: when you start talking, expect good results. Feel positive emotions and respect them when talking to your boss.

Don't argue: don't get entangled in debating who is right or who is wrong. We communicate with the idea that we are on the same side. Listen to your boss, so you can better understand the overall situation.

Say "yes" instead of saying "but": if your boss wants you to do something in a different way, don't say, "but I don't know if I can do that". Instead, say "yes, and I think it would be better".

To set an example for your boss: even if your boss gives you a bad response, don't respond to your bad behavior. If you want your boss to listen more to your ideas, you also need to listen to him. Show your boss how you want to be treated.

Boldly expressing your thoughts will reduce your stress in the workplace, and it may also improve the relationship between you and your boss.