Which Subordinates Are Easy To Be Bullied?

　　 Psychological experts believe that the following personality Features It is easy for people to be bullied in the workplace: emotional instability, easy to worry, easy to be affected by the environment, introverted personality, strong sense of responsibility, escaping from reality. These people tend to have lower social skills, lower qualification in the company, and less support from their colleagues, resulting in their self esteem being very weak. They are accustomed to adversity, and are most likely to be bullied by senior or senior people.

So, how did these personalities come into being? Tong Mei Mei analyzed that those who were bullied often were the ones who adversity. In their childhood, their parents had many limitations in their discipline, and they were not allowed to explore freely, which made them unable to get the feeling of control, did not know how to influence the outside world, and had doubts about their abilities, and felt that they could not succeed. Especially at the age of 4~6, this is the main task of personality development, which is to cultivate initiative. If parents often deny children, such as giving silly appraisal, such as fool, meal and fool, they will seriously hurt their self-esteem and make them lack initiative. They can only rely on others and feel guilty, unable to form the courage to face difficulties and pursue goals, let alone push themselves to realize their self-worth.

case

Ben is a biology teacher in high school. Semester He was also rated as an excellent teacher by the school. At the same time, in his class, students do not obey the discipline of the classroom regularly, often make a big noise, but he dare not get angry. When someone asks him to lend money or help, he can not refuse, causing money and time to always be inadequate. Once, the leader let him help the school to do the website, also limited the time, he also felt unfair and grieved. He did not understand why he had been bullied from childhood to high school: from kindergarten to high school, students did not like him, did not play with him, and often laughed at him and teased him.

Self worth is low and needs to be established through bribery.

In the sense of Ben, he is a worthless person: he is tall and big, but he is away from his ideal white face. very far The university he read was not the best university in the country, so he was three points short before the man. He gave a good lecture, but because he could not control the students, he felt that he was also a failure.

Shu Youe analysis, because he felt that he was not worth the respect of others, when he went to make friends, he wanted to "bribe" others with other things, such as asking if he needed help or needed to borrow money. Under such circumstances, his friends are naturally easy to take advantage of.

Bad sense of security, fear in heart, hard to refuse others.

When the leader did Ben extra work, he dared not refuse. He worried, "if I don't help, will they try to make things difficult for me in the future?"

Shu Youe said that he had no choice but to tolerate such worries, but it was because of his tolerance that the people around him treated him more unscrupulously.

Experts give advice on "air bag"

Establishing interpersonal boundaries

Many bullied people are the emotional trash cans of their parents since childhood, which makes them pay close attention to the needs of the people around them. Some of these children can hardly distinguish themselves from others' needs after growing up, so it is easy for them to take responsibility for themselves and refuse others' requests.

Ben once, after habitually promising to lend money to his colleagues, he thought of his refusal, so he said, "I'm sorry, I don't have any money on me." This has been a great improvement for him. If he had not had money before, he would have run to the bank to get the money and give it to others.

Learn to say "no" to your boss.

Many people do not want to refuse, but in their feelings, saying "no" means the end of relationship, or even destruction. So when they learn to say "no" in a non confrontational way, they can refuse.

Ben just told the school leaders who wanted to give him extra work: "I'd like to help the school, but I've been very busy lately. If you don't worry, I can start in a month." If so, the school leaders will let others do it.

Enhance self worth and sense of security

When we feel that we are not valued or loved, our way of behavior falls into the abyss of being bullied. Therefore, to change this situation, we need to change our inner feelings. You can tell yourself in your heart every day that "I am valuable, I am loved, I am unique" and appreciate this wonderful feeling. When you truly believe, your outer world will also change.

Amy finally could not bear his boss's bad temper and resigned. In her farewell letter to her colleagues, she said she believed that she would find a better job. After three weeks, she really found it. There are nothing particularly bad in this world. Sometimes things look unacceptable on the surface, but in the long run, these are gifts from life.