Mother, Please Do Not Live For Me!

A letter from Jaycee Chan

"Basically, my mother, I think, sacrificed her life to me.

From the moment I was born, all of them were paid to me.

Her time, what she thought, all she owned.

Everything she wants in this life will want to say that she will leave it for me later.

A typical Chinese mother took Joan Lin out and said that it was not because of the robbing of the fire, nor to attract the attention of the eyeball. Indeed, because she was a celebrity, everyone knew everything about her. She knew that she did not need to paving the way, and she also represented the idea of a large number of Chinese mothers.

I have thought about the harm of this article to Lin, and the benefits to readers. I have assessed that, with my influence, I really can't hurt anyone else. But I believe that a group of mothers like her, including myself, will have some inspiration from them, which will change their childbearing concepts and direction of life, or just have a little idea of wanting to change.

That's enough.

Everything goes to the heart.

At the expense of the child, all the time, energy,

All of them are devoted to children and live for him. This is the status quo of some Chinese mothers.

But I want to say, this is not great.

Are you like this? Ask yourself, when you look at the child's sleeping sweet smile, say, "dear, I live for you in my whole life: what is your real heart like? Is it a blooming flower or a barren place? What is your husband and wife relationship? Is it a conjugal love, a family harmony or a lack of warmth? What is your life plan? Is it a dream or a plan of implementation or a confusion? What is your belief in the future? It is full of hope, strength, or cold and hopeless heart.

The answer is at your heart.

In fact, one lives for children.

Often have an unacceptable self.

Children become your own life-saving straws.

Poor baby, how young and delicate, passively accepted such a great pressure, if they can express, will say, mom, please, do not live for me, your life is very heavy, I can not afford to!

I don't know whether to live for children is Chinese characteristics, but it must be the most popular in China.

This is related to China's traditional culture and social environment.

First of all, we are a country without faith.

I always believe that if a person does not have faith, he can still live with support, pursuit, and strength, and face death without fear. He must be a very powerful person.

But unfortunately, this powerful person is very few.

Most of us are always looking for something to live on.

Some people say that the belief of Chinese is descendants.

Putting the meaning of life on children is because they do not dare to realize that life is meaningless emptiness and lack of ability and courage to explore what the meaning of life is.

Secondly, China's bad relationship between husband and wife.

When a woman is unable to respond to love from her husband, and when he is not strong enough, he will turn his head to his own child.

Many women love their husbands, their love for their children, and their love for them.

This phenomenon is very common, and the consequences are very serious. If the child is a son, it will also lay a curse on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the future.

A mother always snatch her husband with her daughter-in-law, because she has been loving and possessing her son as husband for a long time.

Where did her husband go? Maybe she was out of the world like Jackie Chan, maybe not derailed, but because she didn't understand love, she consumed her emotions and energy in her work, and, worse still, might be a comfort for her mother.

This is a vicious circle.

Finally, China has always been a celebration of self sacrifice, so that mothers do not consciously create the impulse to be such a great mother.

When mothers tell me that I live for you, I will not be ashamed of my poor life. I will not be embarrassed by my abandonment of life, but I think it is a great honor.

Including the outside world, it will not think there is any problem.

Although the child is deeply stressed, he will feel grateful for his mother's sacrifice.

Mother, you live beautifully! In fact, no matter which country or nationality, no matter what kind of mother, it is instinct to sacrifice their own interests and protect their children's interests when necessary. Children at a certain time need their mothers to put aside everything and devote all their time and energy to take care of them.

We criticize the practice of abandoning ourselves and living only for children.

When Joan Lin passed on to my son, I was living for you all my life. Everything I did was for you, including everything I am now, and I will leave it to you in the future.

In fact, the message she conveyed is that I am a person without dignity, and I have given up my dignity.

And when a mother gives up her dignity, the child she brings to herself will never know what dignity is.

We hope to abandon ourselves to achieve a healthy, happy, happy and dignified child.

But it is a pity that our children do not live what we want, but just what we are.

Some psychologists believe that children tend to live the truest side of us. We do not discuss the right and wrong views, but we must admit that parents are children's examples.

Teaching is more than thousands of times.

A mother can feel wronged and bear pain for her children. Her anger, your resentment and your despair will all be projected onto him.

Children love their mother, he consciously and unconsciously will bear this pain with you, your long suppressed desires and emotions will also be released on the children.

I saw a very gentle, gentle and forbearing mother. The children she brought out were rather selfish.

As a child, he realized that his mother was not happy in such a depressed life. He expressed his mother's anger which was not expressed to the outside world, and even hatred for his father.

It is impossible to educate a healthy child by self sacrifice by a monk.

If you want your child to be strong, you have to be strong. You want your child to be happy. You must be happy first and live your life as a model.

If we want to live a happy life for our children, children will know what happiness is, not how we can tell children how to be happy in a state of unhappiness every day.

There are saints who sacrifice themselves to make others.

For example, sister Teresa, and Melanie in gone with the wind, but they all have strong faith and enjoy themselves, and they do not complain and sacrifice themselves.

If you are their kind, then admire you, your life has reached a new level, your child can also appreciate the true meaning of great love.

In fact, such a person is not living for whom, she lives the most wonderful self, although she dedicate her life to others, but she is steadfast.

The realization is always the value of oneself.