We Are All Slaves Of Emotions

In life, we often hear the leaders say to the employees, don't bring the emotions to work, the wife says to the husband, don't take the emotion home, the teacher says to the students, how can you talk to me with emotion These words are invisible to express our fear and helplessness to "emotion". Because of this, many people in the face of the arrival of emotions, tend to deal with the wrong, light impact on daily work, heavy even make their interpersonal relationships are damaged, let themselves Physical and mental exhaustion 。

Whether men or women, CEOs or ordinary employees, office white-collar workers or construction workers, it is inevitable to escape the siege of one thing, that is, emotion. Happiness, anger, sadness and fear are the four basic human emotions, which constitute rich emotional elements and vigorous vitality. It can be said that we are all emotional slaves.

Our cognition and treatment of emotions come from the continuous "teaching" and "demonstration" of schools, parents and people around us. These traditional emotional management methods, in reality, not only do not achieve the effect of promoting growth, on the contrary, often achieve harmful results. Therefore, it is not because there are problems with emotions, but because we do not have enough understanding and understanding of emotions. We use the wrong mode and method of emotional processing, which leads to various results that we do not want to see.

According to the book EQ written by Daniel Gorman, a famous American psychologist, only 20% of a person's success depends on IQ, while 80% depends on Eq. Nowadays, many famous international companies have to adopt EQ test when they enroll some key positions. The correct EQ management concept is to manage people's emotions with scientific and humanistic attitude and skills, and make good use of the positive value and significance brought by emotions to help people succeed.

Traditional but ineffective EQ Management Law There are usually four types:

A child was sad because he lost his beloved pencil sharpener. His mother said, "honey, mom will buy you another toy, but I will buy you a toy only if you promise not to cry." In our side, we can often see such a situation. When a person is sad because of something, his friends will always say, "don't be sad any more. Let's go for a walk and have a ride." In the face of other people's sadness, we always ask him to do something else to replace his own emotions, which belongs to the exchange type EQ management method.

When facing other people's emotions such as sadness, fear, anger and anger, and when persuasion fails, many people tend to adopt the attitude of criticism, criticism or reprimand, especially when parents treat their children, leader It is the easiest way to adopt this method for subordinates, which belongs to the punishment type EQ management method.

In the face of some emotions that one cannot bear, his relatives or friends often take the attitude of escaping or neglecting. Many parents when their children have emotions, they either walk away or ignore them, leaving their children to suffer emotional suffering. This is an indifferent EQ management method.

If a child is in a mood, his parents will tell him a lot of truth. If the employee is in a mood, the boss will tell him a lot of truth. Such as how little things cry, you should be a responsible person. Many people are used to "should" and "shouldn't" to try to stop other people's emotions. The elderly, family members or good friends around us often use this way to "comfort" and "care" us.

The use of these four ways of emotional processing is not good for people, especially for the parties. First of all, it will lead to the formation of the so-called negative emotions of sadness, sadness, anger, fear and so on. As long as they are shown, they are harmful and useless. Secondly, it will make you more and more unable to face and deal with emotions, which is not conducive to learning from emotional experience and gaining positive value. People whose emotions are not properly treated and dealt with for a long time will have a more closed inner world. They often suppress their real emotions and gradually lose the vitality of flow.