Learn Communication Skills

　 What is communication?

Communication includes verbal communication and nonverbal communication. Verbal communication includes verbal and written communication, non-verbal communication including voice and mood (such as music), body movements (such as gestures, dance, martial arts, sports, etc.) the most effective communication is the combination of verbal communication and non-verbal communication.

　　 communication It is the foundation of human behavior. But can your communication accurately convey your wishes or disagree with something?

Success lies not in the content of communication, but rather in the way of communication. To be a successful communicator depends on the person who communicators believe that the information you explain is reliable and appropriate.

Communication involves a wide range of activities: communication, persuasion, teaching and negotiation. You have to be flexible in these activities and cultivate the need for effective communication. Skill 。

　 Combination NLP concept Summarize several practical and effective communication skills.

Some people are very harmonious in their life and work, because they have effective communication skills. With regard to effective communication, there are many research and analysis materials. Here, I want to sum up several practical and effective communication skills combined with the NLP concept.

1, from the perspective of communication composition, there are generally three aspects: the content of communication, namely, the text; the tone and speed of communication, that is, the voice; the posture of communication, that is, body language. The proportion of the three accounts for 7%, 48% for voice and 55% for behavior. The same words show different effects under different voices and behaviors. So effective communication should be a better integration of these three.

2, from a psychological point of view, communication includes consciousness and subconscious level, and consciousness only accounts for 1% and subconsciousness accounts for 99%. Effective communication must be at the unconscious level, with emotional and sincere communication.

3, identity recognition in communication, for different communication objects, such as superiors, colleagues, subordinates, friends, family members, even if the same communication content, should adopt different voice and behavior posture.

4, affirmation in communication is to confirm the content of the other side, not only to say some perfunctory remarks. This can be done by repeating the key words in the other's communication, and even returning the key words of the other side to the other side after being modified by their own language. This will make the other person feel that his communication has been recognized and affirmed by you.

5, listening in communication, listening is not simply listening, you need to grasp the content and meaning of each other's communication comprehensively, so that you can return your feedback to the other side's content, consistent with the true idea of the other side. For example, there are many people who belong to the visual type. In communication, they sometimes rush to express their thoughts without waiting for the other person to finish speaking.

6, communication in the "first with the back", whether career counseling, psychological counseling or general cooperation, you can use this skill. "First with the back" means that even if your point of view is opposite to that of the other side, you should first let the other person feel your approval and understanding in communication, then throw your views through the guidance of language and content.
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　　 How to improve your communication skills

Communicating with people requires us to listen and speak cleverly instead of talking without fear. It is even more difficult to communicate with those who are afraid, angry or frustrated, because under the control of this emotion, we will be more helpless.

But no matter at home or at work, do not despair or give up on your communication barriers. Good communicators are also being trained one by one. Here we have provided you with some small tips for your reference.

Even if the other person appears to be angry with you, do not fight him back. Other people's emotions or reactions are likely to be caused by fear or frustration. Take a deep breath and quietly count to 10, letting the other person vent his emotions until he is willing to tell what he is really thinking.

You don't have to know all the answers. It's also good to say "I don't know". If you want to know something, say it out and say what you think. Or you are willing to work with the other person to find out the answer to the problem.

React positively to facts or feelings without conflicting feelings. For example, "tell me more about what you care about" or "I know your loss" is better than saying, "Hello, I'm working" or "it's not my job". Grasp every opportunity of communication, because you may be alienated from others because of your little absent mindedness.

People want to hear if you agree with them more than you think. Many people are complaining that people do not listen to them, but they forget that they themselves do not listen to others! You can give your full opinion to show that you are listening, and say like this: A., "tell me more about what you are concerned about" B. "what is your concern about something?" C. "I am very interested in what you just said. Can you tell me what led you to believe it so much?" D., "Why are you so satisfied with something?"

Remember that what others say and what we hear may lead to deviations in understanding. Our own analysis, assumptions, judgments and beliefs may distort the facts we hear. To make sure that you really understand, repeat what you hear and think, and ask, "do I understand correctly?" if you have emotional reactions to someone, say it directly and ask for more information: "I may not fully understand you, I understand it in my own way, I think what you are talking about is the meaning of a certain person. Is that what you mean?"

Confess your troubles and mistakes. Commit yourself to a deadline. If you need help from others, use your energy to influence them. For example, if you want to update someone's computer and work in her office, you can say, "I know it's impolite to disturb you at this inconvenient time, but I will appreciate your cooperation." Our maintenance work will restore your working system to normal. We will be there at 3 o'clock p.m., and will finish work at 5 o'clock. "

If no one asks you, don't point fingers. Knowing that it would be good for someone to speak out, but not to speak, is really a scratching head. In a euphemistic way of expression, such as "may be..." Or "I have encountered such a similar situation. If so, I can help you solve it. If you think it is useful, I would like to share with you more of my experience." All of this is much better than what you said, "what should you do?"

Seek common ground while reserving differences. What do you both like? (as far as possible there is no difference), tell your opinions to find common ground. For example, "I think this plan can make you successful."

Remember that change can put pressure on people. Use your passion to influence your employees, and they will not change and lose control. In this chaotic world, this can make our mediocre life more warm. So if you are around someone, or you need him to do something for you, tell him whenever you need help. If possible, tell him you want to help him.

Active thinking and concentrated energy. From the point of view of problems, we always start from ourselves, or give our experience based on the environment. Many people who are considered successful, including professional athletes and literati, have positive thoughts. Ask yourself, "where is this good?" or "what can I learn from here?" to maintain a positive state. Don't forget to take different pressure reducing methods to make your work more enjoyable.

Most people, including yourself, are self centred. This is not a bad thing, so that we can protect ourselves. Do not assume who will know your selfishness, tell you what is most important to you, and ask others what is most important to them, which will lay a good foundation for your communication.

Improve your listening skills. Many people think that they are good at hearing, but the fact is that most people do not listen at all - they just say, and then think about what to say next. Listening means asking good questions and eliminating distractions, such as what to say next, next to whom to see, what's going on outside. If someone is talking with someone, it's often because his heart is hiding fear. What they want you to do is to talk real and friendly.

If your interpersonal relationship is not well handled, your colleagues and friends do not like to communicate with you, or you can not express your views very well. I believe you will be more effective in communicating with these skills.