A Leader'S Character Should Be Either Patient Or Open.

16 thousand - this is the average number of words that ordinary people speak every day.

There was much more than that.

Most of these ideas are subjective judgments of events that are mixed with all kinds of emotions, and do not necessarily reflect facts.

There are positive and helpful self hints, such as "I am ready, the speech will be successful", "it is necessary to discuss this matter voluntarily", "the new vice president seems to be a good person", and there are also negative emotions, such as "he is deliberately ignoring me", "I want to make a fool of myself", "I am a counterfeit".

It is generally believed that organizations should try their best to eliminate negative thoughts and emotions: Leaders' character should be either forbearing or optimistic, they must exclude all negative factors and show full confidence.

But this is against the basic knowledge of biology.

In any healthy person, there is a stream of consciousness that produces criticism, suspicion and fear.

This is the normal function of thinking, allowing people to anticipate, solve problems and prevent possible risks.

There are usually two kinds of diseases: the subjective inference is a fact, and there is no doubt about it.

I'm a real born garbage). I can't hold back when I have similar difficulties. (I can't take over the job), or under the encouragement of supporters, I force myself to exclude negative emotions ("I shouldn't think so...")

I am definitely not a waste). I even go against my own way of doing things that conflict with my values and goals ("I must accept this new task, I must control the situation").

The common failing of the two is to indulge in Inner entanglement and waste great energy.

This is a common problem for leaders, and various self management "secrets" can not solve problems, but only play a counterproductive role.

We have observed that many leaders repeatedly experience emotional distress in their work: anxiety about time management, jealousy for others' success, fear of rejection, and stress when they are despised.

These leaders will try to get over it, such as making positive psychological hints to themselves, arranging work according to priorities, or focusing on specific tasks in order to divert attention, but this is not a permanent solution.

As we all know, these emotional problems usually last for 10 years or 20 years, and can even be traced back to childhood.

Obviously, the way leaders overcome emotional distress does not work: a large number of studies show that trying to suppress thoughts and emotions will only make them stronger.

In a famous study by Harvard University professor Daniel Wegner (Daniel Wegner), a group of participants were asked not to let their brains bear the image of a white bear. It was difficult to do so. After the lifting of the ban, the frequency of white bears in this group of participants was much higher than that in the control group.

If you go through a strict diet and lose weight and have a strong desire for chocolate cake and French fries, you will be able to understand the "white bear" phenomenon in this experiment.

Effective leaders are not overwhelmed by emotions, but do not suppress their feelings. They strive to develop emotional flexibility, follow their own values, and deal with emotional problems consciously and constructively.

In a rapidly changing and highly complex era of knowledge economy, the ability to manage emotions effectively is the essential quality of a successful leader.

Frank Bond, a professor at University of London, has proved that maintaining emotional flexibility can relieve stress, reduce errors, promote innovation and help us improve performance. Frank

Objectification.

When you are in an emotional mire, your whole attention is focused on yourself, and you can't calm down and assess the truth.

A simple solution is to treat emotions as objective objects: a shovel is just a shovel, and the same is true of mind and emotion.

"I didn't invest enough in work or family," I plated into "my idea is that I don't invest enough in work or family."

Similarly, "my

He turned me into a problem and turned into "I think my colleague has problems and I feel angry."

Objectivity allows you to see that emotion is just a fleeting flow of information, which is not necessarily valuable to you.

Human beings have the mind to jump out of their limitations and reflect on themselves.

More and more scientific research has proved that this simple self objectification activity can not only enhance work performance and happiness, but also improve brain function and promote cell health.

When Cynthia relaxed and practiced objectively seeing emotions, the delusion of guilt finally vanished.

Accept yourself.

Don't try to control your emotions, but try to accept them.

Acceptance does not mean laissez faire or depression, but a more open attitude towards the state of mind and a careful understanding of the flow of emotions.

Take 10 deep breaths and see what happens.

Stress may ease slightly, but you may not be able to reconcile yourself immediately.

On the contrary, you may just realize how bad your mood is.

At this point, it is important for you to have some compassion for yourself and others, and then examine your situation: what has happened in your heart and in reality? Jeffrey is no longer suppressing anger and frustration, instead of giving vent to others, but facing squarely.

After that, he finally saw the source of his anger - the key problem in his work could not be solved.

He realized that anger could not solve the problem. He had to take constructive action to seek the cooperation of his colleagues and give priority to urgent tasks.

As Jeffrey accepted and worked hard to understand his anger, negative emotions boosted his career.

Practice values.

Once you get out of your emotional plight, you have more choices.

Now you can act on your own values.

In practice, we suggest leaders to examine their behavior on the principle of feasibility: whether your choice is beneficial to yourself and your organization in the long run and in the short term? Can you effectively motivate others to accomplish organizational goals together? Are you trying to be the ideal leader and living your own life? The flow of consciousness is endless, and the mood is changeable. However, wherever you are, values are the guides you can rely on.

Completely eliminated

It's unrealistic.

Efficient leaders focus on their feelings, but they will not sink into them.

They know how to release their inner space and act according to their values in reality.

Emotional flexibility can not be cultivated overnight, even if Cynthia and Jeffrey insist on self recuperation, often repeat the same mistakes.

But in the long run, the improvement of emotional management ability will make you a step closer to success.