Conversation Etiquette In Conversation 12 Taboo

"Three words of warm winter, bad words hurt June cold."

Words are powerful. Conversation is an art and a learning.

It makes people laugh and people can't jump.

Inseparable from life

Communication must learn how to talk, and saying good is good for solving problems.

Confucius said, "a gentleman is nothing but a word."

A person should be "careless" about his own speech, that is, he can not be too careless to speak. He should take into account the object and occasion of his speech.

1, avoid being condescended.

Meng Zi said, "man is a good teacher."

Talking with someone with a high degree of guidance will make the other person unhappy.

No matter how tall you are, how hard the background is, how deep your qualifications are, you should put aside your airs and talk with others on an equal basis.

The most taboo in conversation is "feeling good about yourself" or pretending to unintentionally depreciate the other person.

Relatively speaking, the former is like a frog in a well, while the latter is not equipped with the minimum communicative quality.

"There are many things in one's mind, but every one has his own merits". "Noble" people also have their Achilles' heel.

Therefore, people with a sense of "high head" can avoid their mouth and do not have to belittle others.

If you feel too good, it is not only superficial but also difficult to communicate with people because you refuse to take one step.

In conversation, do not show off your merits or achievements, nor do you brag about yourself in a roundabout way.

There is a saying in the annals of the Three Kingdoms: "exaggeration is not enough."

The desire to express oneself is human nature, but boasting of loud words and showing off people will give people the impression that they are strong and honest, eager to be noticed and satisfied with their vanity.

Show yourself, show your brilliance and knowledge, and your opponent will be embarrassed by it, which is not conducive to conversation.

3, if the mouth is suspended.

When the other person is not interested or interested in what you are talking about, don't ignore the feelings of the other person.

Bacon, the English philosopher, said: "the implicit and appropriate conversation is more valuable than the eloquence."

In fact, conversation is composed of two parts, namely, speaking and listening. Any speaker should have an unwritten agreement between them.

One side's "saying" is for the other's "listening", and one side's "listening" also promotes the other's "say".

Half of it is the art of listening. "Listening" helps to understand each other and catch each other's intentions and needs.

The most intelligent talkers are usually not the most talked people, but the most careful people, and can make critical comments at the critical moment. People are often impressed by this kind of person.

4, avoid random interruption.

If you want someone to finish speaking, don't interrupt others easily.

Some people are always eager to speak when they are talking with others. When they do not fully understand and listen to each other's opinions, they can hardly wait to interrupt each other's speeches, which is unfavorable for conversation and communication.

Everyone has his own habit of speaking.

Some people appear lengthy because they like to start from the beginning. Some people appear wordy without missing details; others are not easy to understand because of their sketches.

But no matter whether they are accustomed to each other's way of speaking, they should not ask questions or put their own opinions into account.

Even if the other party has not been clear, accurate, or biased or wrong in expression, do not interrupt others' thoughts without interruption.

5, avoid any complications.

We must fasten our attention to the topic and avoid making any unnecessary changes.

If everyone is talking about music enthusiastically, you suddenly plug in the football match, obviously do not know the "heat".

There is another kind of "extra complication", that is, some people like "Solitaire" and "fill".

When the other person talked about a topic, just started, he hurried to finish or make a supplementary play for others.

The other side opened several times, and he answered several "dragon". When he said a few words, he made a few supplementary questions, so that the other side could not speak.

Actually, the same conversation can lead to different conversations.

For example, "the weather is very hot today", which can lead to "I am afraid it will rain". It can also lead to "unfortunately the air conditioner is broken". It can also lead to "I am not feeling well" and so on.

A conversation often takes one hundred and eight thousand miles away from other people's topic, and inappropriate addition distorts the meaning of others.

6, avoid making decisions.

When you talk with people, you should be natural and proper. Your gestures should be appropriate. You must not point fingers and make eyes, but do not dig your nose and give people the impression that you are frivolous or ill bred.

In conversation, it is best to keep an appropriate distance from each other unless it is a friend or someone familiar with it.

Too close to you will invade other people's space, too far away from the conversation.

When you talk, you should be dignified. You can use some gestures, but not too big. Don't be too swayed by your body. Don't be too excited and waving your arms vigorously, shaking at the other's eyes.

Good posture is not enough. Smile and have confidence or interest.

7, avoid being absentminded.

When listening to other people's speech, they should concentrate their minds, do not look left and right, or face weariness, yawn, or facial expression.

In the conversation, we should maintain an active listening attitude and focus on the other side's speech, so as to deeply understand the feelings of the other.

Listening to others is a kind of courtesy in a sense, a respect for others, an encouragement that can enhance the interest of the speaker.

Listen to the other person's speech and pay attention to giving out some signals that are indicating that they are listening, such as nodding and smiling from time to time, looking at each other with their eyes, looking at each other frequently, and simply answering "Oh", "yes", "later" and "right". Through these positive reactions and short interruption, they can send out information that they understand or approve of, and can also enlighten the other side by asking questions. For those who are not good at language expression, they should try to give him the opportunity to speak and let him publish "high opinion".

8, avoid sarcasm and ridicule.

Xunzi said, "it is better to warm words with people than words, and to hurt people's words is deeper than spear halberd."

People should be ridiculed when they are talking. They should not laugh at it, especially when they are too many people. Otherwise, they will hurt their self-esteem and do not gossip about people outside the conversation.

This is not only damaging to others, but also harmful to oneself, because the speaker will be alert to your bad words behind his back.

We should not regard others' physical defects as laughing matter and ignore others' personality.

Do not deny each other's views, for example, "absolutely impossible" or "you are not right at all."

Avoid using rude language such as "don't talk nonsense", "do not understand", "you are stupid".

9, avoid being insincere.

For different views, we must speak frankly and do not agree with each other.

Don't praise or compliment others, otherwise, it will make you feel insincere.

Paying attention to conversation skills does not mean being tactful, irrelevant or even insincere.

In any case, conversation between people should be honest.

Confucius said, "clever words and bright colors, fresh to be benevolent."

Just to cater for others and praise unprincipled will let the other party feel that you have ulterior motives and have no plans.

10, avoid being mystifying.

It is customary to do so. Do not intend to be "miraculous" in "processing". When the tone is in a panic, it is intermittent, or selling "Guan Zi", playing deep and unpredictable.

It is very disgusting to be so mystifying.

The person who likes to talk and likes to be mystifying is nothing more than trying to appear to be very meaningful and mysterious. Therefore, after a long time, people are tired of it. There is no curiosity. When he sells "Guan Zi", everyone is silent. No one asks, "Guan Zi" can not be opened, but he himself is suffocating.

11, avoid cold and warm uneven

When a few people talk with each other, do not follow their own "appetite", nor do they differentiate themselves from others' identities. They are keen to talk with others and neglect others.

Unfair conversation is not pleasant.

When talking to many people, be careful to take care of everyone as equitably as possible and express your concern in the right way.

For example, we should arouse everyone's interest with a topic, let everyone express their opinions, and make a pause with others in eyes, that is, pay attention to each other's eyes for a few seconds instead of simply scanning.

12, avoid short talk.

Don't soak in the conversation, trifling "digging" topics, wasting your precious time; just enough to stop, improve the efficiency of conversation, do not chatter.

Some men like to talk about their hobbies; some women like to talk about their families, their children's intelligence and so on.

This kind of note will make the other person feel that he is wasting time, and pretend to listen is just a courtesy.

Lu Xun once said, "the time spent on other people without reason is not directed at seeking money or murder."

Although it is difficult for the other party to listen, it is actually a kind of disrespect to ignore the feelings of others.