Know-How: Nonverbal Skills In Talks

First, eye contact and

In the course of the talks, it is also necessary to consider the contact between the therapist's eye contact and the body posture of the healer.

Once you have to attend a meeting, you should watch your conversation partners and keep the natural contact of sight.

Further, your body vocabulary should also show your interest and interest.

We often hear such a sentence, "eyes are the windows of the soul".

When you look at each other, you can learn more about each other.

Vice versa. When a visitor is speaking, you can look at each other's eyes, and the other person can also understand us.

They can get information such as whether their words are listened to, whether they can be accepted, and whether they can be understood.

The information of the therapist to the other's empathy and understanding, respect and attention can be conveyed from their eyes to each other.

This characteristic of eye contact requires the therapist to pay attention to his own gaze.

If the other person is talking while you are looking at something irrelevant, or looking around and looking around, you can imagine that the information you can give to your partner will be negative.

So, what is the proper arrangement for the therapist in our talks? Our suggestion is that when you listen to each other's conversation and narration, your eyes can directly stare at each other's eyes; when you are speaking and explaining, this sight contact is less than listening to the other party.

That is to say, when the other party speaks, you must use your eyes to show your concern. Sometimes, when you talk, you can leave your eyes for a short time.

Human body vocabulary is actually very rich.

For example, standing posture, sitting posture and gesture can be included.

People may form their own unique habits in their own life experiences, such as standing in arms with arms, talking about indoor activities, sitting on their desks, sitting on their legs, often shaking their feet when they want to ask questions, explaining that they like to use various kinds of hands and so on.

There are other different body expressions in the cultural background, such as "V" gesture, victory, shrug shoulders and no comment.

As a therapist, the general principle should be to integrate the body language into the treatment process in order to facilitate the treatment process.

In this way, the habitual movements of some therapists may need to be changed.

For example, shaking your legs may make visitors feel depressed and uneasy. Sitting on a desk and talking to people may be appropriate behavior in front of their colleagues and friends, but it will have adverse effects on visitors. This will create a feeling of "condescending".

The more appropriate behavior may be this: when visitors first arrive, they can shake hands with others to welcome and accept.

If some therapists are not used to this way, they can not shake hands, but they need to get up and greet visitors.

In the whole process of treatment, you should make yourself comfortable and at the same time show your concern for the other party.

This is more important when listening to the other person's conversation, so that he can face each other, make his body slightly inclined to the visitor, and express his attention by nodding his head.

When we explain the problem, we can use some gestures to enhance the effect of conversation, but we should pay attention to the use of moderation and not exaggerate so as not to make people feel "pet".

At the end of each session, the healer should get up and send out the door to the visitors in the future. This can be regarded as a courtesy, but it also shows the therapist's subjective attitude towards the visitors.

When the therapist speaks, the other side is watching you too. Beginners often get nervous. They often have only half of the chair, the body tilts forward and the hands are tightly screwed together.

If the other person finds this, he may relax himself, but later he may discount the treatment.

The way to correct this problem is to sit on the back of the chair and find a comfortable posture.

Of course, this is just a way of overcorrecting.

During the talks, the therapists should not only show themselves freely, but also show their concern for each other.

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Two. Other nonverbal skills.

In addition to eye contact and body vocabulary, there are other nonverbal skills.

Speaking tone, intonation and speed are one of them.

In daily life, we can notice that sometimes people express their welcome words in a cold tone, which in fact indicates that their hearts do not really welcome each other.

The process of psychotherapy depends more on the speaker's discourse on the other side, which requires the therapist to use his voice and intonation well in his treatment.

When a Lister listens to a therapist's speech, what the therapist says is a rationalized thing for him. From tone and tone, he feels a certain attitude and emotion. This attitude and emotion do not end there. It also induces the feelings of visitors.

So, as a healer, your voice can make the other person feel warm, pleasant, and interesting.

Generally speaking, everyone's voice is unique, but the key is to pay attention to your speech with your empathy, understanding and concern.

In this way, you have the soul in your voice, and the utterance will have an exciting effect.

There are still some skills to be paid attention to in terms of therapist's discourse.

For example, pronunciation can not be too peaceful, which makes people feel plain and dull.

There must be some cadence, speed and pause when speaking.

This will make your words lively and attractive.

When speaking, try to make clear noises so that the other side can hear clearly and ambiguously.

Speed should not be too fast or too slow, and generally moderate speed is more appropriate.

Too slow will make the other person feel procrastinate, not refined, too fast. Sometimes the other party can not keep pace with you, because they need to think at the same time.

Mastering the pause in the conversation helps the other person to think, pause is not leaving the blank of the conversation. Pause has 3 functions: (1) leaving behind the lingering charm of the speech; (2) obtaining agreement and understanding; 3) strengthening the listener's tension, which is actually the art of letting the other party participate in it.

Three. Practice of some basic skills.

There was a story about how a person learned to smile before and after.

When he looked indifferent, he thought everyone else was serious and indifferent, but when he learned to smile at others, he found that the people he met were smiling at him too.

The truth of this story is worthy of our consideration.

Some therapists work very hard, but the treatment is not very good; some people simply complain that the visitors have personality problems. Then, do we have to improve ourselves? The following exercises will help some of the therapists.

1. observation of good listeners and bad listeners.

Pay attention to the people around you and find out the people you think are the best listeners. These people should have the characteristics of making the people around them willing to talk with them, and willing to talk to them when there are difficulties and problems.

Write down their eye contact with the speaker, the expression of body language and the way of responding to the other's words.

Find out partners who you think are disliked by others and record their characteristics in these ways.

Finally, take a look back at your past experience and think about the situation of people who used to help you, and those who didn't help you (who might have wanted to help you at that time).

Analyze their characteristic behavior.

2. practical exercises for talks

When you talk with friends or family members, consciously introduce some negative behaviors (such as looking at other places, looking lazy and absent minded), while at other times, consciously observe the positive way to participate in conversation, gaze at each other, the body is inclined to face each other, etc.

Write down the effects of these two ways on how different people are.

Similar exercises can also find a lot. It should be said that only a few special examples are mentioned here. In today's highly developed television, it can also be our partners in practice. For example, we can pay attention to watching someone who has an influence on others in TV dramas, his style, his characteristics, and why he is popular. In turn, he can analyze some unpopular people. Such exercises will help improve the level of treatment.