Is Evil Really Rewarding?

I am a more "kind-hearted" and less able to express myself. I often do not understand say NO! I will not grasp the propriety of say no.

When I talk with people or discuss problems, I do not have much weight or even my own opinions and positions. For example, the other side says, "this station is not nice, let's turn it around". Although I like watching this station, I have no interest in his favorite programs, but my mode of thinking mostly follows the other side and thinks he has turned to the stage. I turn back and seem to be intentional to conflict with him. I am afraid of such consequences, so I would rather not.

Go away.

I have a small company, I am always kind and approachable to my subordinates, because I do not want to highlight the relationship between management and management. I hope that the company will be more harmonious and able to make a difference, because in my bones, "evil" makes people unable to get close, forming a hierarchical differentiation, and feeling difficult to communicate and communicate with their superiors.

However, what I get is the opposite effect.

Employees are not afraid of me. They work openly at my office, make personal calls, smoke and even sleep.

The situation is not too serious, but it often happens. Whenever I want to talk about him, I always have a voice like this: "or if he didn't sleep well last night, let him sleep." or "tired or entertained, I can understand"... But I often know that things have developed to the point where they do not put me in their eyes. But I haste to say that he is worried that they will not be able to "accept" or feel that I am unfair.

In short, my idea of "people first" put me in a dilemma.

Another kind of "bad" manager, his style of work is relatively clear. I am the leader of your leadership. You have to listen to me. I don't agree with his work style, but his effectiveness is better than mine. Because he is in the eight fight, and he dare not make small guesses.

I know I should change, but I don't know how to change, so that I can become good enough to have both weight and public support.

Please help me to comment on it. It would be great if there were any books or tutorials that could be recommended.