My Colleague And Old Lover Worked With Me Very Badly.

Question: I have just finished my love affair with a colleague.

We all work in a small publishing company. His position is higher than mine.

For complex reasons, I ended this love affair, which made all two of us feel miserable and unhappy.

But every day he has to deal with him in the office and pretend everything is normal. This is terrible.

I don't want to quit, because I like this job and I have two children I want him to leave.

I know I shouldn't have gotten into such a thing, but I don't know how to get out of it now.

A 39 year old female employee of the publishing company, the female employee, replied, "how can you get out of this predicament?

The answer is: it is very difficult.

First, you need to decide whether to stay or leave.

It depends on how your old lover is going to punish you.

He is taller than you; you dumped him, and he felt pain.

It doesn't sound very good - he can make your life so bad that you have no choice but to leave.

Assuming that he has no malicious intentions, you should stand firm.

Your work is right for you, so you should stick to it.

This means you need to find a better way to deal with him in his office.

You say it's bad to be forced to pretend everything is normal.

But you have to keep pretending to be okay, and try to pretend.

You must pretend to be a professional, even if you do not feel that way.

Make sure that your manners are always more appropriate than him, so that you can get some pleasure.

If you lack courage at this time, you must cultivate.

As soon as possible!

You have to meet him as little as possible.

Unfortunately, your company is too small, otherwise you can pfer to other departments.

Other small changes may also help.

I know a person who is in a situation similar to yours. She moved her computer to a position so that the old lover's shadow would not appear in her sight.

Although this is not ideal, it is better than doing nothing at all.

But remember, your colleagues are almost whispering about you.

A small company is a pressure cooker that cooks gossip, and they will observe every move you make.

One thing you should not do is try to make him leave.

What he does depends on himself.

What you need to do is to pretend that it doesn't matter whether he walks or not. Maybe one day it will become a reality.

Readers: you should be very selfish when you think about your children.

When you start a romance at a publishing house, you should consider your two children instead of thinking about them after the end of the romance.

When you and your colleagues are "hot", who ever thought of them?

You yearn for love, you get it.

You want to finish it, and you did it.

You don't like guilt and tension caused by this complex relationship, so you choose to break up.

Now you expect him to simply disappear?

No

Take a responsibility for your actions.

You should leave.

I am a 35 year old man. My experience is good.

I once had a secret relationship with a colleague who was senior to me. This situation lasted for almost a year.

When I decided to end this relationship, we performed very well and continued to work as if nothing had happened between us.

I still like him. When I bump into him in the elevator, or when our eyes collide at the board meeting, I am still excited. This feeling illuminates my boring work.

Manager and single mother, female, 42 years old...

For me, there is usually only one way to quit.

So the real question is who has to go?

If you have a sense of guilt, you should go.

If you think you're doing the right thing, let him go, or wait a little.

Time is always the best medicine for this kind of workplace drama.

And, surprisingly, time always works quickly.

The former boss (not leaving) there, male, 52 years old, is an adult, and you are all grown up, but not mature.

You need to grow up and mature and realize that your derailment is wrong. The best way to correct it is to maintain a moral and professional attitude in your work.

I am a 47 year old administrative assistant. I married him. I sympathize with your colleagues. They have to work with two people who love each other and hate each other.

I know what I'm talking about: I married a man who used to be my colleague.

After we went out on a date, the two of us soon changed jobs. This saved our relationship and career prospects.

You must learn this difficult way: love and work can not be confused.

The investment banker, the 43 year old woman, will be better after the time therapy.

Student, male, 33 years old