The Parents Of "One Generation" Should Pay Close Attention To The Psychological Concern Of "The Two Generation Alone"

The two generation: parents are also the only child of only child.

More than 70% of the "double alone" parents give their children to the elderly, and their children can not establish intimate relationships with their parents, causing all kinds of psychological problems.

Many "two generation" fever, fever, oral ulcers, and malnutrition.

These shocking survey materials were first disclosed at the first "two generation" Growth Education Symposium in late April.

The two generation of only children, who had their strengths and weaknesses different from the Chinese at any time, finally met at the beginning of this period.

As the first generation of parents, the only child of the first generation bears too much expectation from their parents and grandparents. When they have their own children, their expectations for the next generation continue and are further enlarged to form a collective "raising anxiety", and this anxiety of parents will eventually leave a mark on their children and become the unique "identity tag" of the "two generation".

The embarrassment of "one generation" from generation to generation

Ms. Wang, 33, is currently the chief financial officer of the world's top 500 companies with a salary of nearly one million and a smooth career.

The only thing that annoy her is her 7 year old son.

It turned out that Ms. Wang and her husband were both single children. They were young scholars and had studied in the United States.

Ms. Wang's parents worked hard to solve their problems for their daughter in law. They followed the couple to bring their children in the United States and Beijing.

Mrs Wang hardly ever had any trouble with her children, and sometimes she could not see her son once a week on business.

Until her son went to primary school this year, Ms. Wang finally made the effort to spend more time and thought in her children's studies.

Unexpectedly, this contact triggered a "family earthquake". As soon as Mrs. Wang criticized her son slightly, her son immediately contradicted, became furious, and even rolled around the floor. She was so angry that Mrs. Wang made a big fight. Eventually, both of them quickly rose to "body conflict", and they often ended up making no end.

"Children are only 7 when they are so muddy. How can they manage later?"

Ms. Wang is very upset.

The conflict or alienation between parents and children is not uncommon in the "two generation" family. Experts believe that the root cause is the dependency from generation to generation.

Sun Hongyan, director of the Institute of child research, China Youth Research Center, quoted a set of data. In 2007, a survey on the "one-child marriage" jointly conducted by the editorial office of the Chinese women's magazine and the Hua Kun women's life research center showed that over 70% of the "twin sons and daughters" young parents "only have no child" and throw their child's parenting to their parents.

Among them, 42.1% of the children were taken care of by grandparents, 29.8% of whom were taken care of by grandparents. Only 15.8% of them were taken care of by their mothers, and the rest of the family took care of them.

"The psychology of" one generation "is not yet fully mature, and it still does not know how to take care of others and lack of experience of caring for younger brothers and sisters. So when children really come, they seem to be at a loss as to what to do.

Two, the competition in modern society is fierce. Many young mothers go to work without having enough time to take care of their children.

Sun Hongyan believes that, because of "separate generation", the elderly's physical protection is more than education and education, resulting in the formation of arrogant and willful bad character. The children who are spoiled are not only deaf to their parents' discipline, but even think their parents are not as good as their grandparents, but they will be indifferent to their parents. Finally, the awkward situation of "one generation" can not manage the "two generation alone".

Educational experts Sun Yunxiao also found that 70% generations of grandparents were unsuccessful through a large number of surveys. For example, the breakfast that grandparents did to their children was not qualified, nor was it appropriate for the children who came home from school. If the children could not establish their parent child attachment relationship with their parents before they were 6 to 12 years old, they would have hidden dangers for future psychological growth.

What is the "premature" education of the "one generation"?

A two year old boy was admitted to a pediatrics department of a hospital. The child was active, playful, and smiling, but his temper gradually became irritable. He was listless during the day and often had nightmares at night.

Examination shows that the child's body is not abnormal.

After careful questioning, the doctor concluded that mother's early education for children was the cause of the disease. Every day, such a small child watched a 1.5 hour English CD-ROM and an hour of intelligence development game.

Most of the "two generation" children are experiencing such excessive early education.

"Less than 1 years old, he began to read and learn arithmetic. When he could just speak, he recite Tang poetry and learn foreign languages. He began to learn musical instruments at the age of two or three, and began to study primary school at the age of four or five."

Terri Kwan, a researcher at the sociology institute of the Tianjin Academy of Social Sciences, described the trajectory of many "two generation" children.

The survey of 1054 children's parents by the women's Federation showed that when asked, "what kind of work do you do most in family education?"

30 years of age and younger parents preferred "intellectual development and knowledge education" to 78.1%, higher than "physical quality training" (64.1%) and "moral quality and human education" (54.7%), and higher than 31 years and older parents of 23.2 percentage points.

The survey also showed that 88.6% of the parents taught their children literacy, arithmetic and other knowledge before they went to school, 28.2% of them had children learning foreign languages, 20.3% had children learn primary school courses, and those who participated in the above three classes had significantly less sleep time than those who did not participate in such learning.

Terri Kwan believes that in the one-child family education, parents have too much concern, too much worry and too much guidance on their daily life, learning, thinking and behavior activities.

Forcing children to change their habits will make them feel at a loss, and too much restrictions on children's freedom of movement, virtually become a "psychological abuse."

The so-called "psychological abuse" is not what parents intentionally do, but when Overearly education becomes a reality, it is necessary to buckle the children's sleep, reduce playtime and restrict social interaction, which is actually a covert deprivation of children's right to health.

Where is the psychological concern of "the only generation"?

Recently, the new mother finally stopped worrying about her son's lack of playmates.

At the end of April, she sent a playmate's post to a Parenting Forum frequently. She said her son was five years old and lived near Tuanjiehu. She wanted to find a child whose age was not far away from home, but unexpectedly she became a "hot tie". In the end, more than 10 parents agreed to take their children to Tuanjiehu park to have a party on Sunday, so that the children could make some new partners.

"The children are so lonely now, they can only watch" happy sheep "at home alone.

Last year, a single child survey of more than 6000 people also showed that 61.3% thought that the second generation only child was more lonely, and happiness and sadness were hard to share with others.

The "love" of adults is usually limited to health and life, and the psychological level is very lacking.

They do not have brothers and sisters to accompany each other. They need to be alone to face huge people and huge things.

Reporters in the "Sina" and "Tianya" Parenting Forum saw that the children's playmates are everywhere. Similar playshops are becoming more and more popular among parents. They have their own "friends group" or "QQ group". They can find partners and organize playshops and gatherings through their forums or websites.

Many parents say that children nowadays have very high IQ, but EQ is very low, selfish, will not interact with others, and some even mild autism.

Therefore, helping children find partners is more to help children find the EQ education lacking.

This practice is affirmed by Sun Hongyan. She believes that parents can first look for children from their classmates, colleagues and friends in their circles. Parents can help children in their social activities properly, such as intervening in time to resolve conflicts, resolve conflicts and patiently teach them, so that children can gradually learn to associate skills and exercise communication skills in conflicts.

Through a period of interaction, a stable social circle will gradually form, and parents can gradually expand to a larger unfamiliar social group.

When a healthy mother gets a physical examination report from a kindergarten child, she can hardly believe her eyes. She writes "under normal and malnutrition" in the column of children's development. She says with astonishment, "the whole family takes care of their children so much that it costs thousands of yuan to buy a nutritious meal and eat out. How can he be malnourished?"

The teacher suggested that the healthy mother take the child to the hospital health care department to recheck, the result discovered that the child grows up the metabolism disorder, also is usually said "the metabolic disease", this kind of disease which many people have not heard before now appears more and more in "the only two generation" family.

Young parents often worry about their children's loss of appetite, lack of energy, repeated cold, fever, diarrhea and oral ulcers.

"These symptoms are basically metabolic diseases.

Sheng Xiaoyang, chief physician of the Affiliated Xinhua Hospital of Shanghai Jiaotong University, said that the "culprit" of the growth of metabolic disorders is the lack of compound vitamin B.

And Sun Hongyan analysis, this is closely related to the bad habits of the only generation of parents.

She said that the most single child parents are rather capricious when they are young, and are more choosy about their diet. Besides, many young parents can not cook their own meals, often take their children to take away the food or take their children to restaurants, which is likely to lead to children's lack of nutrition.

In addition, the "two generation" children suffer from childhood diseases such as adult diseases and precocious puberty.

"Nutrition problems are related to parental blindness. Children's health deficit caused by excessive early education will exacerbate their parents' preference for health products and go into the wrong areas of nutrition."

Terri Kwan said.

It's hard to be a parent when parents are under pressure.

In the interview, reporters feel that the "single generation" parents undoubtedly suffer from greater pressure of life and work, and greater risk of childcare. Great changes in society make them have strong uncertainty about their own development and their children's future. Therefore, the obvious difference between the parents of single children and their parents is that they are more involved in the design of their children's lives, hoping that their children will develop in accordance with the track of adults, and hope that they can get ahead. Therefore, they pay more attention to children's material satisfaction and knowledge inculcation, on the contrary, they neglect emotional and psychological tending.

At the seminar, the experts appealed: "in the face of the drawbacks of the educational system which is not satisfactory, the impetuous social atmosphere and the" one generation "under the enormous pressure of life have many pain and helplessness in the child's tending. They themselves are also victims of social problems and need treatment and guidance.

So saving children should start with saving parents.