How To Refrain From Damaging Each Other'S Relationship

Many people do not like to say "no" to colleagues or bosses.

For example, if the boss wants to advance the deadline, or a team member needs to extend the deadline, we will worry that a negative answer will damage the relationship.

This is because rejection is often regarded as a synonym for confrontation.

Whether you belong to those who try to avoid conflict or those who are prepared for conflict, the reaction of the other person to a negative response is often not what you want.

Sometimes, even if you want to minimize friction, the other person will try to turn your refusal into consent.

Because they may have tasted the sweetness of not accepting the negative answer in the past, or feel that accepting your negative answer will make him look like a soft egg that is casually bullied.

Or, he may get angry, may argue with you, or he may become silent without giving a word.

All this is because he has always handled such negative responses.

In addition, sometimes different environments will increase your difficulty in accepting negative responses.

For example, some people can accept a negative answer in private, but if they are in front of everyone, she may feel embarrassed and want you to change your decision.

Because of the above problems, a trick that can ensure that the relationship is intact without rejection is non-existent.

But what you can do is to see what you want to achieve in a different way.

Do not regard your answer as a must in conflict confrontation and maintaining relations between the two.

In fact, there is also an intermediate option: neutral refusal.

Neutral rejection should be stable, definite and clear.

Obviously, it should not be rude, confrontational, nor should it be apologetic, hesitant or full of excessive concern.

It's not necessarily your habitual style of speaking, but you should be able to do it.

Neutral refusal protects you and the other and avoids the most destructive negative factors that can be brought about by the following negative responses:

Mislead the other side.

If your refusal is not very firm, it will be easy for the other person to think that you still have room for improvement.

Sometimes, if you sound likely to change your mind, the other side will try harder to argue with you.

This misguided damage to your relationship is even worse than your negative answer.

Weaken the intensity of negation.

Many times people like to put

The reason is put the cart before the horse.

They will talk about the most important things and leave the most important reasons to the end.

But those less important reasons are easy to be overturned and not convincing.

Therefore, if you want to reduce the frustration of the other person and do not let the other person doubt your sincerity, the best way is to discuss the most important reasons before.

Insisting on neutral refusal can make you focus on things instead of people.

You should follow the example of a neutral referee on the court.

The judgement of a good referee is not affected by the feelings of both sides.

His task is to make decisions and to uphold the original judgment when challenged.

You can also

Your friction with each other.

In this case, you can say, "it is not easy for me to make this decision.

I also know it's hard for you to accept.

You can say this sentence in your own way, but when you speak, you must pay attention to keep your intonation steady, affirmative and clear.

If the other side is still having an argument with you, please bear in mind the following points:

Do not stray from the subject.

If you understand why the other party is arguing with you, you can point out his concerns directly: "I understand you have done a lot of work in this matter, and you are afraid that I will stop you."

You can also list the reasons for your refusal: "my job is to find a balance between what is right and what we can not take into account at the same time.

This is my starting point. "

If this argument raises some discussion, it doesn't matter.

A negative answer should not be merely a unilateral conversation.

Don't change your mind.

If your refusal does have a good reason, don't change it easily.

For example, I know such a thing.

A young girl submitted an arbitration for a second-hand car she had just bought.

The guy who sold her car was a very good opponent. He put forward many reasons why he didn't have to repair the car or allow it to return.

The young girl listened patiently to every reason he said, but every time he finished speaking, she would reply, "I see what you mean.

However, the state stipulates that if a vehicle fails to pass the vehicle inspection, the seller is obliged to be responsible for repairing the cost or returning the vehicle.

Finally, the boy who sold the car not only gave the girl money back, but also invited her to have a meal.

Don't expect too much.

People who want to maintain relationships usually want to be able to keep their partners happy while rejecting each other.

However, the reality is that when people hear a negative answer, the natural reaction is anger, displeasure, and anxiety.

If we try to change what we have to say, in order to receive an unrealistic positive reaction, the other party may not be able to do so, and we will have to repeat the negative answer again.