Workplace Does Not Understand Communication, How To Talk About Development.

In the workplace, if communication is not smooth, it will be difficult to talk about development.

The three elements of communication are as follows:

(1) the basic problem of communication - Mindset.

(2) the basic principle of communication - Concern.

(3) the basic requirement of Communication Initiative (Initiative).

Many people think that communication is a skill of speaking, but it is wrong to say so.

A person's state of mind is not right, his mouth is like a spring, and no use, so the basic problem of communication is actually the problem of mentality.

How can we understand the state of mind? To put it this way, there are three problems in mentality.

Question 1: selfishness - care only within five Lun.

The first problem of mentality is selfishness.

One day you lost your way in the city, spread out the map, and stand there and watch it. Maybe no one will come and ask if you are lost. Do you need any help?

But I had a friend's son in New Zealand. Once in Oakland, I opened a map, and in a minute, two New Zealand women asked him, "have you lost your way? Do you want to help?" this case shows that our Chinese taste is within five Lun, and there are no more than five Lun.

What is the five Lun? In Chinese culture, Wu Lun refers to respecting parents, caring for brothers and sisters, courtesy of couples, loyalty and tolerance to friends, and seeking common ground.

This five Lun is close to far, and each "Lun" is coordinated and orderly (the meaning of "Lun" is order).

Question 2: self - other people's problems have nothing to do with me.

Other people's problems have nothing to do with me. This is called self.

In our lives, there are so many people who smoke. When smokers smoke, they aim at the wall first to see if they write "please do not smoke".

It is of course not forgivable to write "no smoking" on the wall but pretend not to see it.

The most interesting thing is that when he did not write on the wall, he assured himself that he would light up smoking.

In fact, whether or not to smoke is not to see whether the wall has that "do not smoke" warning, the important thing is to see if there is no one next to you, as long as you are sure that the people next to you are smoking, including you, then you will suck together, but when most people next to you do not smoke, if you can do not suck, this is called not self.

Many men like smoking in the restaurant. In fact, a restaurant can never be all smoking.

You should not smoke at this time.

When the company meets, the general manager smokes a little, which one dare say he can not smoke, but most of the women in the company do not smoke.

At this point, the question arises: why do I have to smoke in front of my female colleagues? Why do I have to go home to smoke and let my wife and children smoke your secondhand smoke? Someone might say, "it's impossible. If she marries me, it will be unlucky, or my child dare not smoke my secondhand smoke.

Perhaps you do not think this mentality is actually a kind of self.

Question 3: arrogance - my idea is the answer.

On a business trip, one of my subordinates had acute enteritis.

When I took him to the hospital, my subordinates said to the doctor, "doctor, do you think it is necessary to suspend the brine?" I did not expect the doctor's reply to be very easy. "Is it not easy to drink salt water?"

What do you think is happening in the back? When my subordinates went to the drugstore to take medicine, they got a basket containing twelve bottles of salt water, and they went back to ask the doctor, "doctor, do you want to hang so much salt water?" the doctor said, "don't you like hanging salt water?"

He said this to the doctor, which he would be very sick of. He thought you were a doctor or am I a doctor?

In interpersonal communication, arrogance will appear in all kinds of faces. It is like a stumbling block, causing many obstacles, making people's indiscernment insensitive, and reason can not play its normal function.

Once a person is selfish, self and arrogant, it is difficult to communicate with others. This is a typical symptom of mental disorder.

Factor two: the basic principle of communication -- concern (Concern)

Dr. Nell nodding, a famous American education expert, wrote a book "learning to care: another mode of education".

The theme of this book is "care".

In the preface, the author said, "caring and caring are the basic needs of mankind."

Care is a way of greeting and helping others. It is a sincere feeling from the heart.

Some people say that to learn to care is to learn to live and learn to live.

That's a good thing to say.

Let's look at the concept of care in communication. It involves three aspects:

1, concerned about the situation and difficulties.

Once I bought a book in Hongkong, the book was very thick. When I got it, a clerk came over and said, "do you like this book?" I said, "yes."

"I'll help you get the counter."

Then he helped me take the book to the counter.

It means you can empty your hands and pick up other books here.

I said, "thank you!" for a moment, I saw second books that were considered good. He came again and asked, "do you like this book?" I said, "yes."

"I'll help you get the counter."

In this way, six or seven books were unknowingly taken.

When I went to check out, he seemed to feel that I was worried (because I was on board in Hongkong) and said, "it doesn't matter, sir. I'll help you carry it to the plane, and you can continue to buy something else."

Tell me when you want to board the plane, and I'll carry it for you. "

Actually, it was not so far from the bookstore to the entrance to the airport, but he said that he had noticed you.

If he doesn't care, he holds a book in his left hand and holds a copy in his right hand. No one will buy third books.

This is his concern for customers. He is very concerned about the situation and difficulties of customers.

2, attention to demand and inconvenience.

When employees work in a company and sometimes their days are not very good, will you notice their needs and inconveniences? According to the survey, 20% of the world's IT people suffer from depression, which is caused by too much pressure.

Now that we know this possibility, what should a supervisor do? Let's look at an American lens:

In the American IT world, when employees work until night, the boss will send a massage therapist to help them massage.

And people who know science and technology usually do not like to talk, so they hope they can bring toys to the company.

Many people think that older people can't play with toys, which is wrong.

People often like to play with mobile phones. In fact, this is a concept of toys, but not dolls.

People in science and engineering speak less, and people are less sensitive. If he can't play with toys and collect something he loves, he will be under pressure.

So American companies allow employees to put their toys in the office, allowing employees to put carpets and slippers in the office, allowing employees to vent in the basement.

This is to understand his needs and inconveniences.

3, focus on pain and problems.

Once I lived in Zi Guang Yuan Hotel in Shenzhen. When I entered, I found a card on the pillow.

Wrote:

The bed decorations of this hotel are all down products. If you are sensitive to the down products, please dial the extension number * * *, the housekeeping department will change other bedding accessories for you.

This card is very good for putting up such a notice for customers whose skin is very sensitive.

This is called concern.

So communication is concerned about the concerns of others, the needs of others, and the pain of others.

1, when you promoted from the deputy manager to the manager, did you take the initiative to greet the other managers and say, "how do you think I need to cooperate with you?"

2, when you were promoted from the manager to vice president, did you take the initiative to talk to your general manager, "boss, who did this seat before?

Now that you have promoted me, I am sitting in this position. What do you think is not done before? What do you need me to do? "

If you want to reach the top of success, you must always maintain the spirit of initiative and initiative, even if you are faced with a challenge or no fun, you will finally get a return.

Through the above two questions and answers, it is not difficult to find that a person who is promoted to Vice President rarely tells the general manager, "where do I need to work hard?"

In fact, the former vice president did not do well, but the skills of speaking were well used. "What do I need to work hard for?" "ah, the former Wei vice chief..."

The general manager came out.

Therefore, it is very important to communicate with others initiatively.

1, active support

A typhoon happened in Tokyo, Japan a few years ago.

Because there are few typhoons in Tokyo, and then a typhoon happened, resulting in traffic paralysis in Tokyo, and the subway and tram were temporarily unable to open.

At that time, there were twenty thousand or thirty thousand people in the underground station, and everyone was very anxious, especially foreign tourists.

But it was not long before I heard the radio saying, "passengers, please be careful. There is a storm outside, and the traffic is completely interrupted. Please be patient and do not go far. We will be ready soon."

How did this happen? Originally, the Tokyo subway station rushed to the Tokyo municipal government for emergency help. All the restaurants that made lunch in the city sent twenty thousand or thirty thousand boxes of lunch at once.

As for how much the box lunch is, it's no longer important. It's important to send twenty thousand or thirty thousand boxes of lunch to the people who can't get out of the underground station at the fastest time.

This is called active support.

2, active feedback

Last week my wife and I went to Britain to visit our daughter.

My wife went to England for the first time, so I took her to visit Windsor Castle.

That day did not know why, and there were many people waiting in line to buy tickets.

When we were in a hurry, there was a new ticketing point not far away. The security guard who was in charge of maintaining the order reminded him, "I'm sorry, there are just two sightseeing tours in front of us, so we have slowed down a bit.

Now we have urgently asked our two other colleagues to come to help us to sell tickets. I hope you will be more relaxed and less anxious. When we went to visit Windsor Castle, we found many brands like this: there are five minutes from here to the door.

There was another sign that said, "it's ten minutes from here to the door."

Tourists: don't be too hasty!

No matter where tourists queue up to buy tickets, they are too slow to feel anxious. When someone comes out to explain, there is a sign that prompts visitors in the garden, which is called active feedback.