Workplace Hidden Marriage: Right Or Wrong, Cold And Warm

You are married, but your resume says "unmarried".

Your ring finger is also empty. Colleagues care about you.

Instead of saying "knot", you do not say "no knot". Instead, you throw away the problem lightly. "What do you say?"

Working overtime, you are a workaholic. You are free to go to BAR with your colleagues after work.

You are married, but you hide it, and no one can see it.

Yes, you are the "hidden marriage clan" in the workplace.

The truth of having to "hide"

Chinese people often say "get married and start a career". Before they get married, they can see how important a person's marriage is.

So in the past, people's marriage had to be lined up, and a wedding ceremony was always necessary.

Marriage, in the eyes of the Chinese, is a ceremonial ceremony, an event that requires people to witness.

So when people in the workplace are hiding their "married status", people are so puzzled. What is all this for?

How many unspeakable truth behind a hidden word?

All things in the world are hidden for profit.

Zhang Qi, who worked in the media, took a long vacation before the Spring Festival this year. After the Spring Festival, she returned to the unit with a joyful candy, and announced her marriage unexpectedly.

In fact, Zhang Qi received the marriage certificate in December 24th last year, but he did not tell the unit that he still applied for the family leave as an unmarried person.

As a result, the unit stipulates that parents who are not in the local household have unpaid visits once a year, while married couples only have a family visit for four years.

Although there are only 20 days to visit relatives, how valuable it is for a job bound person.

In the early years, we often heard such a thing. The unit wanted to send welfare housing, and many people rushed to register for marriage.

It can be seen that marriage has long been implicated in real interests such as unit welfare.

In fact, apart from visiting family leave, there are many different companies about the welfare difference between married and unmarried. The real benefits are ahead. Some people choose to rush to register for marriage, and some choose hidden marriage.

When Weber married, he told only one of his best colleagues, and told him not to go out, because it was related to a loan.

Weber came to the unit for five years. According to the original agreement, he could apply for an interest free loan to the unit.

But at the same time, the unit also stipulates that only one party can apply for a dual working family.

Webber and his girlfriend are office romances, and their girlfriends come a year earlier than him. So they applied for the loan last year, paid the down payment and mortgaged a suite.

The two men agreed and waited for Webber to apply for the loan and then get married again.

Unfortunately, by the time of application, the unit was shelved because of personnel changes at the top level.

Thus, after two months, the loan remained silent, and both parents began to force a marriage.

On balance, Webber and his girlfriend decided to get married first, but not wait for the loan.

Seeing the end of the year, there was still no movement in the interest free loan.

One day, a questionnaire was sent to the unit. The family members need to fill in the family members, including the spouse's condition.

Within a few days, he received a telephone call from the audit office and told him that the loan had come down, but they were two employees. The family side had already received the loan, and the other convenience was no longer enjoyable.

When Weber beat his head, he had been married for more than half a year.

Job search: hidden because of potential

A business executive said bluntly that he did not like to recruit married workers, especially those who were married but did not have children.

His reason is: "this means that they will have children in the near future, especially if the woman has to undergo pregnancy and maternity leave, which will have an impact on the business."

There are not a few business leaders who have such a view. Therefore, under the pressure of employment, some job seekers have to hide their marriages.

Rosa, who works in the Ministry of development, has the white skin of Sichuan girls, big eyes and deep water.

Rosa's hidden marriage ended in a client.

The young man was so enthusiastic about her that Rosa was not able to stand up.

That day, as usual, she went to the youth's office, and the Secretary received her.

In the middle, Rosa and his secretary drank coffee together and surf the Internet to browse the page. When a gold jewelry appeared on the page, Rosa said with a slight understatement: "my husband bought me one too."

When she saw the Secretary, she seemed stunned and did not answer her lips.

A few days later, Rosa saw the talented young men, and their conversation began to become business and business.

Rosa sighed, but at the same time felt the distrust of his colleagues and superiors.

The secret of "hidden marriage", like wings, passed from a talented company to Rosa's company, and finally became an open secret.

Speaking of marriage, Rosa also felt uncomfortable.

The marriage quietly ended, and even ten days after registration, she asked her husband and told her parents.

My husband said, "I'm not married. Why should I tell them?"

Rosa jumped up and jumped at her husband, and the husband made a phone call to his parents.

After eleven, he returned to Guangzhou from her hometown to work. Rosa saw a copy of her household register in the drawer one day.

Looking at the above "marriage" column still wrote "unmarried", Rosa heart touched, and felt that he should leave a commemoration of his single period.

So she printed several copies of this unmarried account.

Rosa, who was also married, was thinking about job hopping. She was thinking about leaving anyway. She didn't tell her boss and colleagues about her marriage registration.

Shortly before delivering his resignation, Rosa also witnessed a "hidden marriage" incident.

The boss of the company wanted to hire a secretary and made it clear that he wanted to hire an unmarried girl.

As a result, shortly after the end of the recruitment, the boss realized that the secretary was married and deliberately concealed the job.

The boss is very depressed, and can not because she is married, and fired her, she was pferred to a post, and never reused her.

At that time, Rosa was preparing materials for the new company. When she copied her residence booklet, she saw the bright red "married" stamp on top, and she immediately remembered the Secretary of "hidden marriage".

"I am going to go to a big company. The competition is fierce. If I say I am not married, will I have a bigger chance?"

Rosa weighed it for a moment, and then found the copy of the unmarried account which was kept before.

This is the beginning of Rosa's hidden marriage in the new company.

As a matter of fact, before her marriage was hidden, Rosa's performance was two different from those of her unmarried women. She worked hard and put most of her time into her work. Her performance was excellent and she quickly became a supervisor.

Now that he has been broken down, Rosa still feels that people who are still unmarried in the workplace have more advantages.

As she said, customers are always more enthusiastic about unmarried people, and unmarried people feel more energetic and more open, so that promotion can be quicker.

"I still regret it. I got married early."

Rosa regretted.

When hidden marriage encounters temptation

When you hide your marriage, you convey a message to others that you are free.

Without the shield of marriage, you will face various temptations, whether in the workplace or in life.

A person has implicit marriage behavior, we can not simply decide whether it is good or bad, but as a hidden marriage, you should take into account the new entanglements caused by temptation, especially the emotional entanglement. Otherwise, it will be difficult for yourself.

After 30 years old Eve got MBA, he came to Guangzhou from Hunan to apply for a job and entered a foreign company successfully.

She is not tall, petite and delicate, with a look of a small bird, so that people can feel love at first sight.

Her boss, Geo, took care of her. "Like a big brother," she not only shared every important opportunity with her at work, but also gave her meticulous care in life.

Eve, who has long been married to a woman, knows that he should first show her his married status to Geo, but she needs to have such a strong partner in life and career, so she conceals it.

On one occasion, the company had a foreign learning opportunity. Geo informed Eve at the first time, hoping that she would make preparations for it.

It happened that Eve had just asked for a family leave and was planning to go back to Hunan to meet her husband. He refused Geo's kindness on the phone.

Unexpectedly, after a while, Geo appeared at her door, and he continued to persuade Eve not to give up this rare opportunity for further study.

Eve is a little touched. A lonely person is treated with care and warmth.

However, she was a family member, with a husband who loved her deeply.

Eve immediately cancelled the family leave and applied for the expatriate opportunity to the company.

A few months later, the Eve back to the company was reused.

At the end of the year, the company leader commended her outstanding contributions and gave her several important projects.

Eve knows that the success of his career is inseparable from the support and help of Geo.

The colleagues around also saw that Eve and his boss Geo had a deep look in their eyes.

Eve is pushed into the whirlpool of emotion and career. If she keeps hiding, she will get more love and care from Geo, and will get more opportunities in her career. As a career woman, all these are the goals she strived for.

But what should her family do in her marriage?

How does she have the heart to let others fall into a wrong love?

If it is no longer hidden, will her career stop abruptly?

She was bogged down in the swamp of her soul.

Workplace hidden marriage reflects all kinds of reality.

Refraction: marriage is a matter of privacy.

In October 1, 2003, the new marriage law requires mainland residents to apply for marriage only after holding their valid identity card: residence booklet and identity card. All the other formalities such as marital status certificate, pre marital medical certificate and other procedures issued by the previously extended units are all reduced.

The new marriage law emphasizes the protection of personal privacy. Marriage is a personal matter.

This stipulation has provided the possibility of hidden marriage in the workplace while it has been simplified.

Refraction two: unfair relationship in the workplace.

"Workplace implicit marriage reflects the unfair relationship between applicants and recruiters to a certain extent."

Peng Peng, a sociologist at the Guangdong Academy of Social Sciences, said.

"Obviously, in today's job market, because the recruiter is in a strong position, the applicant should take good care of himself and make appropriate adjustments according to his position requirements."

In other words, the phenomenon of workplace implicit marriage can also be seen as a way to protect the weak.

In the interview, we found that the proportion of women in the workplace was higher than that of men.

To a certain extent, this reflects the unequal relationship between men and women in the workplace.

"Although our country has basically achieved equality between men and women in terms of law and treatment in recent years, there is still a tendency towards male preference for women from the social psychological level of the Chinese people."

Peng Peng explained.

Refraction three: psychological differences between men and women in implicit marriage.

Job search, promotion, job change...

During the interview, many girls were secretly married because of their work problems. However, they seldom heard men's grievances in this respect. Their hidden marriages were mostly motivated by private emotional demands.

"The evaluation of a married man and a married woman is different in society.

Married men represent stability and maturity in their ideas. They are the qualities needed in the workplace, while married women represent the fetters, bondage and anger.

Wang Yunge, a marriage psychologist, said.

She generalizes several psychological states of the career women's hidden marriage. First, from the social environment, there is a distinction between the views, treatment and attention of married women and unmarried women. The advantages of unmarried women in the field are overemphasized, which makes the married women psychological oppression.

Secondly, the difference between married and unmarried women in real life benefits married women.

Finally, some women's implicit marriage psychology also stems from the enhancement of privacy awareness.

In the workplace, men's implicit marriage is much simpler. In addition to protecting privacy, they sometimes just don't want to give up the whole forest for a tree.

Married: The Curse of the workplace?

Many married people, especially women, lament that once they get married in the workplace, they will no longer be trusted by their bosses or customers.

"Married" seems to be the workplace.