5 Misunderstandings That Must Be Avoided In Mentoring Relationships

Socrates and Platon.

Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau.

Maya Angelo and Oprah Winfrey.

Ray Charles and Quincy Jones.

Bob Nois and Steve Jobs.

If there is a wise tutor, everyone will benefit from it.

A suitable mentor will make a huge difference to your career.

For example, according to Lois tutk, the author of The Mentor's s Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships, about 96% of executives believe that mentoring is an important development tool.

"The tutorial system has many advantages," he said.

Tutors can help you get into other circles and let you go.

Different ideas and different people who didn't have the chance to contact before.

If you want to find your master of Miyagi, and hope to develop a perfect mentoring relationship, you should avoid the following five common mistakes.

1. find a mentor who shares your taste.

Finding a mentor with a similar background may feel comfortable.

But this is not the right way to grow.

Instead, you should find a mentor with different experiences and perspectives, because they can help you find your blind spot.

"Many female mentors are male," said Michael Mel, executive trainer of Next Step Partners, a training company.

Many of the instructors of colored people are white, because you have to find someone with ability and experience.

And many people will choose older white men.

Don't think that only a person like you can be your mentor.

This idea is too narrow, and such people are usually in short supply.

Sharon Mills, a technology company executive, has served as vice president of Goldman Sachs and has written the book "Getting to 50/50".

At that time, women found that all male vice presidents went to play basketball with top leaders.

So they asked their partners to work out a plan for women to match male mentors.

Many of the women who participated in the program later became executive directors of the company.

"It's amazing," Mills recalls.

The men involved in the scheme are partners who really care about the progress of women.

Women who participate in the scheme also have great potential.

In this way, you won't have to consider the performance issue at all. "

Likewise, mentors should not be all former bosses.

You should choose someone who has been in different business areas or even from different companies or different industries to be your mentor.

2. help in general.

A common mistake in finding tutors is that inviting executives to lunch together results in aimless chatting and no help at all.

The more specific the target, the more targeted, the effect will be better.

At first, you may not know what you need to develop or develop, but these problems can be solved in the process.

Once you have identified your weaknesses, choose tutors who can help in specific areas, such as management, communication or presentation.

After making specific suggestions, we should continue to follow up and share our achievements with our mentors.

People are willing to know that their suggestions are helpful.

If you do not follow your advisor's advice, you should also tell the other person frankly.

Mills said: "mentors do not always give good advice.

If you think their proposal is inappropriate, you should tell them why.

The answer can't be: "I never tried."

If you ask others for advice, you should respect and make full use of each other's precious time.

This means that every time you have lunch or coffee with your mentor, you need to have a clear agenda in your mind, communicate efficiently and follow up.

The apprentice plays a positive role in the mentor relationship.

"Time is the biggest problem and also a great investment," says rozi Alford, ASAP head of IT solutions.

Both sides must take responsibility. "

You should make an agenda for the meeting, and follow up continuously to clarify the relationship between the two sides.

"In a series of dialogues, you should have your own goals and be specific and targeted," Zachary said.

"The real question is how we can grow and grow."

Tutors can't give answers to all questions, but they can guide you to find out the answers yourself.

In other words, instead of having lunch with someone every quarter, you can say that she is your mentor.

The most common mistake in mentoring is to regard it as a paction or a one-way relationship.

In fact, tutors can learn a lot from their own guides.

Jody Alan, vice president of marketing and brand operation at Procter & Gamble Co., said: "I feel that I have gained almost as much as I paid."

Alan likes to discuss the development of mobile technology and social media with his own guides.

"They gave me a lot of energy.

They are young and ambitious, and have more skills than I did when I was in my age. "

Many people can directly ask professional idols to become their mentors.

This is wrong.

Mentoring relationships should come naturally.

First of all, some people do not like being asked directly as tutors.

If it is necessary to make a clear request, we should know each other before asking questions.

"The establishment of mentoring relationship should be naturally developed," said Nicole lovelos, a marketing company's Hit Big CEO.

I don't like to ask directly. "

She said she was gradually establishing relationships with her mentors through luncheon meetings and exchanges.

When you are looking for a mentor, you can ask your acquaintances and colleagues whether anyone has the industry knowledge, personality traits or connections you are looking for.

"We must take the initiative to go out," he said. "I'm looking for a mentor."

Do you know anyone? "To the people," I want to learn x, y and Z.

What are my priorities?

It is easier to get a satisfactory answer. "

Melcher agreed with her.

He said, "spread the net wide.

Do not ask, "would you like to be my mentor?" you can say, "I am very glad to meet you."

I have benefited a lot from communicating with you.

I hope to see you again in the coming months. "

A person will have different mentors at different stages of his career development and even have many mentors at the same time. If you are aware of this, you may be able to help eliminate stress.

Maybe a person can guide you how to deal with work life balance, and another person may introduce important potential customers to you.

"No one can be a mentor in his life," he said.